Draco Malfoy: The Spy Who Ran Away With My Shoes
by Superficial Guy
Summary: HD Draco Malfoy is starting to notice that Harry Potter is becoming somebody he eagerly wants to be with. And he'll do anything to get the gorgeous boy to love him . . . has slash, ooh! and maybe leather pants?
1. Draco's Feelings

Author's Note

Before I begin these are some things you should know about this story:

* It changes POV's. I tried to make it all through Draco's, but then I realized it would be slightly boring that way.

* The rating my change in later chapters, I'm not sure, but for now it'll be PG-13

* Yes, I know, I'm an Austin Powers fan . . . Don't sue me for it!! I didn't take any lines from the movie, (not yet anyhow, and I might not, but if I do, I WILL warn you ahead of time!) just some of the title.

*Disclaimer: No characters belong to me!!

Chapter One: Draco's Feelings

DRACO'S POV

I think that my evilness has faded slightly since I started school in my sixth year. I haven't taunted anyone and I don't feel like it either. I wrote a letter to my father and he blamed it on all those Muggle Pudding Packets I've been eating. Can I help it if I'm addicted to them? No! And I don't think that muggle food is making me have strange feelings about my sexuality. I didn't write _that _in my note to father, more than likely he would come to the school and kill me . . . Nope, not gonna tell. Uh-uh.

It's not strange that I've suddenly got feelings for boys, it's strange to who my feelings are directed at! Harry Potter, of all people. I mean, sure, he's got some nice come-backs, he looks sexy when he's angry, he has a wonderful personality and has had thirteen girlfriends for the past year! I'm not jealous or anything. Draco Malfoy is NOT the type to get jealous. Especially over him. 

So, I'll just sit here, alone in my dorm, staring at the ceiling . . . with no one around to talk me out of it . . . Seeing pictures of Harry slide before my open eyes . . .

I roll over and bury my face in my pillow, squeezing my eyes closed. Perhaps if I focus on my Muggle Pudding Packs my feelings for him will disappear . . . Mmmm! Chocolate pudding with vanilla in the middle . . . it's like Heaven when it slides down your aching throat . . .

My eyes snap open and I jump out of bed. Now I'm imagining me and Harry sitting together in the Great Hall, while no one's around . . . feeding me my pudding . . .

Maybe a shower will change my . . . _evil _thoughts. I say evil, because that's what these thoughts are. They're evil. Nobody - _especially _a Malfoy - should ever think about Harry unless dreaming about him being stabbed and hearing him scream in pain, watching his dead body fall to the floor, and you yourself laughing, knowing that Voldemort will pass on his heir to you . . . Ah! 

Finally my thoughts on Harry are how they should be, and how they will remain. The hot steam from the shower and the warm water sliding down my back was just enough to pull me back to reality. Harry will be killed soon, at my hands. Voldemort will love me, I will MAKE him love me. If he loves me, he won't kill me. Personally, I'd rather have Harry die than me. And once Harry is gone I will take over and rule the world! "Mwuahahahaha!" I laugh evilly. Suddenly, I notice I'm not the only one who's taking a shower at the moment.

Three other boys, preferably Slytherin sixth and seventh years are staring at me, and one of them is shaking his head, like I'm some kind of lunatic or something.

Silence.

What? Are they waiting for me to say something to end this awkward pause? I clear my throat, as if I'm beginning to say something, but then decide there's nothing to say.

The water turns off on it's own, it's charmed to know when someone is done, and automatically stop. Someone coughs. That stupid sixth year is still staring at me, and now someone else is shaking his head.

I reach behind me and grab my towel, wrapping it firmly around my waste, ignoring the stares. Never have I been more embarrassed. Slowly, I take a step backward, not loosing eye contact, and rush out the door.

Curse the day Harry Potter lived!!

HARRY'S POV

By staring out my window I can only guess it must be late. Which is stupid because it obviously _is _late on account of everybody sleeping. Ron and Neville's snoring has kept me up, and my fantasies on my girlfriend Kara has also kept me up. She sure is pretty. With long, silver-blond hair and blue eyes. Her lips are thick and a creamy pink . . . Although she assures she's not veela, I'm having trouble believing it. The only thing that's bad about her is that she's related to Professor Snape. She's his cousin's sister's husband's daughter's niece. Or something like that. Normally I don't listen to what she says, but rather focus on her lips and wonder when I'm going to get to kiss them.

I've noticed lately that Draco seems to be more-and-more preoccupied with me, Ron, and Hermione. On the inside it feels sort of weird, but on the outside I pretend that he's only doing it to decide when to hex me. The only thing I can blame his strange behavior on are those Muggle Pudding Pack's he's constantly eating. Not that it would change anything about him. I've eaten muggle food my entire life!

But Draco hasn't. And now it's making him stare at me like I'm some kind of freak. (Well, I _must _be a freak, why else does everyone pick on me?) He seems to try any possible way to touch me, and when I think I'm walking alone in a corridor he always appears behind me, chasing me and screaming, "WAIT HARRY! WE MUST TALK! IS TOMORROW OKAY??"

People have been giving me strange looks. I think he's paid Collin Creevey to photograph me sleeping. Collin is almost as stubborn as Neville and I hear him falling over trunks and clothing at night when he comes to photograph me. Why would Malfoy want to do something like that? It's almost as if he _likes _me or something . . .

Nah! Malfoy liking _anyone _besides girl's is like an elephant falling in love with a mouse. It's impossible. I should direct my attention elsewhere and focus on Kara's lips.

Is the only thing that attracts me to her is her lips? Sure, I dream about kissing her, but lately I've been dreaming about having sex with Malfoy, and kissing Malfoy, screaming Malfoy's name, and feeling Malfoy's hot breath, and his sweat streaked body on top of mine . . . .

I wonder if there is a spell to stop having dreams about people of your same gender in that way? Tomorrow I'll go to the library and find out . . .   
The thing about stopping the dreams is, I like having them and they keep me sleeping. But when I wake up it takes every nerve on my body to avoid screaming.

What is wrong with me?

Should I talk to Madame Pomfrey?


	2. The Pudding Disaster

CHAPTER TWO: The Pudding Disaster

Reviewer thanks!

*Jackblitz* I think I spelled that right? Thanks for not saying I had any mistakes! I feel so . . . mistake free! *wipes sweat* Although, for awhile I was worried everyone might think it was . . . *ahem* too stupid to read, or it was crap or something. Thanks for your review!

*Nicole* Thanks for your review! It was funny. It gave me . . . inspiration! Made me think that even if lots of people hated my work, there *are* others who will like it. So thank you!

*Angel of the eyebrow mater* Wow. Where's you get the idea for that penname?? I actually took the story off because of the two flames I got. It depressed me, really, and I had *serious* writers block. But don't worry, I'm already up to chappy nine now, and I'll update a LOT sooner! 

Also, I know this story is kind of freaky and weird and . . . childish, but after chapter four, the guys/girls (don't want Hermione to get offended . . .) grow up, slightly. Still humoury and all, but slightly older. Besides they have to. Harry and Draco - *covers mouth* Ahem . . . Can't say anything . . . hope you like the chappy!

  
DRACO'S POV  


I've noticed that even when I'm not around those Muggle Pudding Packs, I'm thinking about them. After yelling at a Hufflepuff for messing up my hair, a Ravenclaw for scoffing up my shoe, a Gryffindor for running into me, and a Slytherin just because I wanted to, my throat was sore. Nobody felt sorry for me or anything, therefore I had to feel sorry for myself. What good was my beautiful voice if I couldn't use it?

Harry seems to be staring at me lately. I've noticed how he looks at me. He wants me. Who wouldn't? I'll bet he even dreams about me. Which is fine with me, I only hope I look as good in the dreams as I do in real life. Ha! Me, ugly? . . . That's got to be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

He doesn't want to be alone with me. From time to time I've casually asked him if he'd like to go somewhere and talk, and he always runs away like I'm going to hex him. Well, he's _obviously _in denial. 

It's alright, I'll change his mind.

My father sent me some more Muggle Pudding Packs in the mail today. I got them during breakfast and nearly jumped for joy. Instead, I changed my near grin to a smirk, so everyone knew nothing was wrong or nobody thought the world was about to blow up.

I was going to eat one during breakfast, one after Quidditch practice, one after Potions, and then save the rest for the next day. But I didn't get to. Our new coach, Vandello Greek-Bat, decided he wanted an early practice so we could kick the tails out of Hufflepuff, though I hardly need the practice. "Well, Vandello, would it be okay if I ate breakfast first?" I couldn't stop thinking about that pudding . . . "I fly better after a full stomach."

He looked down at my empty plate, that he knew I had eaten everything off of. "Honestly, Draco, if you eat anymore you'll explode in mid-air. And we don't want to have to clean up that, now do we?"

He laughed evilly and walked off, saying over his shoulder, "If your not out right now consider yourself _off _the team!"

I almost considered quitting. That's how good that vanilla/chocolate pudding is, but I came back to reality and followed, reluctantly. Cursing him. _Who does he think he is? My boss or something? Well he is seriously mistaken! He's what? A seventh year? He's old. He'll die soon. DIE! _

Actually, if anyone should die, it should be Potter's friend Hermione, who watched me practice. The brown colour of her hair kept my mind on the pudding . . . the delicious pudding . . . What was she doing there?

HERMIONE'S POV

Draco is a really good flyer, I've noticed he's gotten better in the last couple of years. He's got the body to go with the moves and I'd love to see the whole thing . . . in the shower or something . . .

I've always wanted to get a good look at him, and I figured if I showed up at Quidditch practice and sat down to watch, but pretended to be reading maybe he wouldn't notice I was watching him. After all, I'm smart. I won't get caught?

He was watching me instead of where he was going, and got hit in the stomach with a bludger and knocked off his broom. My heart and breathing stopped when he fell. "Someone catch him!" I screamed, feeling my body shake. Was anyone paying attention? Was he hurt?

I hurried down the bleacher steps hoping to see if he was okay. Nobody cared that he fell. They were still playing. How can you play with a player down? Especially the one who determines whether you win or loose the game! "Draco! Are you okay?" I grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet, and wiped the grass off his back. It was my turn to touch him! I almost blushed, but held it back.

He yanked away from me and picked up his broom, "Are _you _okay should be the question. I fell not even two feet, Granger! Open your eyes!" then he got back on his broom and flew away.

I giggled to no one in particular. Ha! Draco wasn't hurt after all. And, besides humiliating myself to the point where I could probably never face him again, I got to touch his arm and wipe off his back!

"He's so cute . . ."

I'll never wash my hands again.

DRACO'S POV

We did a Favourite Food Potion in Potions and all I could think of was those Muggle Pudding Packs as I stirred mine. It turned a lumpy red colour, while everyone else's was a dark brown. Suppose I did it wrong and ate it, then I'd be poisoned, and sent to Madame Pomfrey and never able to eat my pudding packs until I got out the Hospital Wing. So, after that I paid close attention to what Professor Snape was saying.

"Psst! Draco!" Goyle called from behind me. I turned around and glared, so he considered it a 'what', "What did Professor Snape say to do right after we add the toad mucus?"

"I don't know!" I snapped. "I wasn't listening! God! Ask someone else - I'm busy!"

Some people. Can't even tell when your trying to think about pudding. Honestly.

"Okay class," Snape said in his deep menacing voice, "I would like for you to pick up the pixie dust and sprinkle some into the potion. When your potion turns purple say the name of your favourite food and tap the edge with your wand. Then, you may eat it." he looked directly at Harry, "That is, if you think it's safe."

Harry went red and glared into his potion, as if trying to make if tip over on Snape. Poor him. He's too cute to have to get yelled at so much. But, he shouldn't let Snape get to him. Snape's a loser.

I picked up the pixie dust. I was drooling all over my outfit, and it wasn't going to stop until I had some of my pudding. 

The potion turned into a more black-blue than a purple, but when I said, "A vanilla and chocolate Muggle Pudding Pack," and it floated to the top of the potion I didn't care.

When I opened it up it looked fine, like the regular pudding does, and it didn't take me long to eat the whole thing. It never does.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Snape said urgently, rushing to my side after the pudding was halfway down my throat, "You didn't tap your wand on the edge - don't swallow-"

Too late. By telling me not to swallow, I was tempted to swallow. And then I swallowed. And now it was gone. "Why? What's going to happen?"

He shook his head. "You may get your magic back before the year is up. You might not. You see what happens, class, when you don't _pay attention_?"

Reality hit me like a bludger, "You mean my powers are _gone_?! And I won't get them back for . . . That'll take _months _Professor! There's got to be something you can do-"

"I'm afraid there's nothing, Mr. Malfoy. You'll just have to walk around without them. We'll talk to Dumbledor about this . . . But don't get your hopes up too high."

I've never been more embarrassed. Some people find it funny to make fun of the guy whose lost his magic. Others, like great, sweet, sympathetic, understanding, cute, and loveable Harry. He came up to me after class and said, "Malfoy, I hate to say it, but I'm sorry about your magic . . . And I hope you get it back soon." then he, Granger, and Weasel walked away.

Hey. I got him to talk to me.

Now. To get him to love me.

Review please??


	3. Laughs in the Library

CHAPTER THREE: Laughs in the Library 

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Reviewer thanks!!

piedermorts*bodyguard: Thanks for your review. When I saw "Potty" I was like . . . Draco . . . In love with a toilet? There's an idea. ^^ But, now, I know you're talking about Harry, so - la! I'm not confused anymore!!

Rayne-Jelly: Yesh, he's in love with pudding^^. And it's really weird . . . because I *hate* pudding. I don't even know where I got that or anything . . . Guess I'm just weird . . . Anyway, thanks for reading!

Sparkles: I shall, I shall, until my fingers fall off or my computer breaks down! Thanks for reading this very much . . I mean . . . Darn. Screwed that up . . .

Twisted Twirl: Thanks for your review!!!

Light-hearted69: I'm not sure anything *bad* happens on chapter two . . . I think, actually, chapter six is worse . . . If you want I could email it to you . . . It just talks about Draco losing his magic because he ate pudding that was contaminated . . . yeah, something like that . . . But, thank you!

FrostedFlower: Gee, thankies^^. I don't write anything but unusual . . . I think, anyway . . . I guess sometime I'd have to write *something* normal . . . Hmm. There's another idea . . . Anyhow, thanks for your review, hope you enjoy this chapter.

Rossalinda: Well . . . since you *did* ask nicely and all . . . Here you go. Oh, and a cookie too. *hands you a cookie*

stevethecool: Creepy. There's a first. Heh heh . . . Thanks for your *sniffle* review that *sob* made me very . . . *wipes tears* is suddenly happy* does a little dance* Yeah! Thanks for your review!!!

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HARRY'S POV  
  
  
Ron and me have been everywhere on school grounds, I'm sure of it. We've looked up every secret entrance and been through all of them as well. But today, we thought of making one. I'm not sure who brought it up, exactly. Maybe one of us was joking around, but suddenly, Hermione was saying, "You _could _make one you know. It's in a book in the Library called: _Secret Passages, Yours and Alls._ I've passed it a couple of times and glances at the print, but it was too big for me to decide to read. The print, I mean. Would you like to go get it? I'm done with my homework."

Me and Ron weren't actually finished, but Hermione slipped into the Girl's Dormitory to change, so we copied her work real quick. Nothing wrong with writing down someone else's answers. Not when your grade is at stake.

"She's crazy," Ron said as we all walked down the hallway to go to the Library. "Bloody insane. You can't make a secret passage!"

"Well then how did the first ones get there?" I asked. "Common sense, Ron. If nobody made them, then who did?"

"Okay . . . Well, what if we get caught? Hmmm? What about that? Surely there's a rule against vandalizing your school-"

"Please Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "It's hardly vandalism!"

"Yeah, Ron," I agreed. "Lighten up."

He didn't quit pouting, but he did shut up, and that pleased Hermione to the point of where she couldn't wait to find a place to make that secret passage. We decided to make it close to the Great Hall, because if we got caught going to it we could just say we were going to eat or get something.

Along the way Draco Malfoy fell into step with us. At first I couldn't stop blushing - my current dream which had a lot to do with cold soda and cowboys . . . But when I realized Malfoy's normal smirk that was supposed to be on his face wasn't there, I stopped blushing. Did he want to "talk" to me again or something? Because I wasn't going to talk to him. Ever. Not if I can help it. Yeah, I'm sorry about him loosing his magic. It's a real waste. But he's got a taste of his own medicine, now he's not one of the most powerful wizards at school. In fact, he won't be until the end of the year! Ah, so many ways to make him hate me even more . . .

DRACO'S POV  
  
  
Weasel stared, Granger gawked, and Harry blushed. Well, I can tell that I'm truly wanted to be in this group. I figured they'd take sympathy on the fact that because my powers are gone I've lost all my magic. But I guess I was wrong. They probably don't even care about me. "So . .. Where're you going?" I asked as nicely as possible.

"Nowhere," Weasel replied. I hate his red hair. I'd love to yank it out and shove it somewhere where the sun don't shine and make sure it never grows back.

"Nowhere? All three of you are walking down a hallway in the direction of the Library and that means that you're going nowhere?"

"It means your not invited Malfoy, so buzz off!" Harry snapped suddenly. I resisted the urge to let my mouth hang open. He loved me. So why was he yelling at me like some kind of dog? Wasn't he just blushing a moment ago?

"Uh-huh . . . Well, how do you know I'm not going to the Library to get a nice book to read. Maybe to work on my homework?"

They looked at each other before Harry sighed, "Well, I guess if you need a book then we can't stop you from going . . . But that doesn't mean you have to hang around us. We're not your friends, Malfoy. And we'll never be." they begin to walk faster at that, thinking that I've got the point and I won't bug them anymore.

On the contrary, now I'm _very _interested to see what they are doing. It must be bad! _Or maybe they really just don't want me to hang around. _Said the Voice in my head.

_Not true, _I said back as we walked inside the Library, _Harry likes me okay. Just not around his friends. He doesn't believe they would understand our relationship._

The Voice was obviously very annoyed at that. He gets annoyed at everything I have but he doesn't. He's so selfish! _What RELATIONSHIP are you talking about, precisely? You guys are at the point where he feels more sure about himself because he knows that now you can't hex him. That's ALL._

I paused outside the doorway, the first time feeling the effects of having no magic. My plan of making him love me by a love potion would never work. Not now. Because I don't have the magic to make the potion.

Okay. New plan. That's all. I'll get a book that requires a little less work. That's all.

I could almost her the Voice say, _Good grief._

RON'S POV

Malfoy seems to be doing a lot of hanging around with my friends lately. He chases Harry down hallways and Hermione said they talked a lot during his Quidditch practice the other day. I'm not jealous that he would rather to talk to my friends and not me. No.

I'm just mad that he thinks he can talk to my friends.

And not me.

Ah! The day I start liking Malfoy will probably mean that any moment the world is going to explode. Because I've hated him for so long, and liking him would just be wrong. Sure, he's dead-hot and he _does _have a nice body, and he _does _have that to-die-for smell. But he's _evil_! And my family hates his family.

I don't like him. I'm just desperate.

"Hey Ron!" Harry called, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked walking over and feeling my face go red. Hermione is staring at me with a look of pure shock on her face and Harry seems like he's about going to laugh. "What's so funny?" I asked.

That did it for both of them. They collapsed into giggles. Now I'm getting nervous.

"Ron - you -" Harry began, "You got all - all - close and you - you . . ." he laughed again, tears streaming down his cheeks. This time Hermione took over for him, though she didn't do a better job.

"All close - and he was like -" she made a weird face by scrunching up her nose and squinting, "And - you were smelling him - Oh god!" she laughed again.

This time I made sense of it.

I stood by Malfoy - really close while he stared at me like I was some kind of freak. And then . . . I _sniffed _him. Lordy.

I feel my face going hot but I patiently wait for them to stop laughing and to wipe the tears from their cheeks. "Okay," I said with an anger-free voice, "Let's go look for that book now. I think I know where it is."

They agree and we walk toward that section.

No more Malfoy for me.

Authors note: Yey for me. I'm done with this chapter! And the next one shall be uploaded either tomorrow or the next day . . . You never know . . . I'm full of surprises . . . BUT, I am going on vacation the eighteenth and I don't know how long I'll be gone . .. Hopefully not long . . . I'll be staying with old people and they kind of scare me . . . Oldpersonaphobia. Look it up. It's real. I swear.


	4. Draco's Plan

CHAPTER FOUR: Draco's Plan

Reviewer thanks!!

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RiverWhiteDragon: Well, here you go! I updated this chappy for *you*! You should have a party! Wooo! ^^. Since I have to visit papa today and stay until Thursday, I might *only* get to post up to chappy five on this thing. Stinks the pooh, really, since I want everyone to see chappy six. But . . . what're you gonna do?

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FrostedFlower: Wee! You reviewed *again* I thought you hadn't - or wouldn't! But you *did* which means I'm happy! Happy = upload sooner = chappy five later tonight . . . maybe . . . No, Thursday. Sorry. It's gonna have to be Thursday. *readers cry out in disgust* But, hey, to make it up to ya . . . I love you!!

Oh yesh. For you're question, you'll see. Except for at this point, Harry has *no* idea to Draco's love . . . call . . . thing . . . 

DRACO'S POV

Besides Ron's little . . . _sniffing _thing, I survived the day okay. I still felt weird every time Ron looked at me and blushed, but other than that, I was okay. At least, I wasn't being _smelled. _Obviously, this proves that the Weasel has _no _self control. But Harry does. I could just see the steam coming out of his ears after Ron sniffed me. He was so jealous.

The Voice doesn't agree, he says that Harry was too busy _laughing _and that the steam I saw was probably coming from his tears and the mixed heat of laughter. But if I listened to what the Voice said I'd . . . well I'd . . . probably be a very successful person . . .

Anyhow, right now Harry and us are just sitting at the table and reading. They have a book on secret passages and I'm reading up on voodoo. Yes, my new plan is voodoo. If muggles can do it and be very successful, then why can't I? I'm not muggle. I used to have powers. Therefore I am a step above them.

The page that spikes interest in me says:

_In order for you to do a successful type of voodoo, he must use an item of the poor victims. Most people prefer an old piece of clothing, or a piece of hair. But any item that has them on them will do. Sometimes even an old shoe can be useful. If you want the spell to be effective then the more items, the better._

So, now all I have to do is decide upon which item of clothing I'm going to steal and use to do my terrible - terrible deed! "Mwua-" I stopped myself before I started my evil laugh. Harry and Hermione looked at me, and I covered it up with a cough. I'm so good at cover-ups.

I noticed Ron wasn't looking at me. Which was just fine with me. He also wasn't talking to me. Which is _better _than fine with me, since I want Harry's attention - and not Weasel's.

Now . . . to decide upon which piece of clothing I'm going to use . . .

HARRY'S POV

Draco thinks he's so good at cover ups, and he's so wrong. I can tell his evil laugh when it's coming and that definitely was going to be one. If he thinks that he can scared me by reading voodoo then he's . . . somewhat right . . . Not that he scares me . . . he actually, just freaks me out. Besides, he's just not smart enough to pull off voodoo. Even though he makes the top grades in all his classes and evil just seems to be his thing . . .

I stopped. Thinking makes me shudder. Besides, what do I care what Malfoy is doing magic on? Why _should _I care if maybe he's going to try to kill me. Or else torture me to the point of no return.

Why?

Because he's doing it to _me. _Ron and Hermione say there's _nothing _wrong with this. Draco has lost everything that ever meant anything to him and his way of getting through this is to think he can scare me.

He's doing a very good job.

HERMIONE'S POV

I would never tell Harry or Ron about my run-in with Draco, though I was dying to tell one of them. They just wouldn't understand! They couldn't see that it was obvious that Draco and me were both madly in love and were going to grow up and have all kids of kids and become successful working wizards and live a wonderful happy life. That is . . . as long as my sense don't kick in and I come back to reality, realizing that the odds of us ever getting married are very slim, that Draco probably would never grow up, and he probably would only want _one _kid if any at all, and _I _might become successful, but I pictured him as a old, fat, drunk man who sits on the couch and drinks beer all day . . . 

Or eats pudding packs . . . 

I shook myself back into reality after walking right into the door and yelling, "OH MY GOD MY NOSE!" when I saw it was bleeding.

Everyone in the hallway looked over at me, and I felt myself growing red. "Um . . . my nose?" I repeated quietly, hoping nobody saw me. They surely didn't see the blood pouring from my nose, which I was grateful for. Less humiliation for me.

Draco walked down the hallway, and stopped in front of me, his eyes big and full of concern, I heard crickets chirping in my head and a slow, beautiful music playing, "Hermione," he said, running his fingers through my hair.

"Yes, Draco?" I asked, looking into his eyes, my heart flying and doing loop-to-loops.

"Um, I think your nose is broken." he yanked on my hair and laughed as he walked away.

There was another silence in the hallway, as people looked at my blood smeared face and broken stamina that ran away. I looked at all of them, half expecting someone to start laughing. "OH - YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T TOUCH YOU! GET OVER YOURSELF!!" and I hurried off . . .

Only to run into another wall . . . 

HARRY'S POV

Me and Ron sat outside in the grass, him doing his Potions homework, me just playing with the grass and eating some it. It kind of tastes really sweet, like butterscotch . . . except really nasty butterscotch. I ended up spitting it all out in a big green glob and heard all the girls around me go "EW!" I shoved some more in my mouth, just for spite, and was about to spit it out again when Hermione came over, her nose wrapped in a piece of tape and swollen about the size of England. I was about to laugh when she cut me off with, "Don't. Even. Think. About it. I'm NOT in the mood." and she stared at me again.

"You sound like your nose is stuffed!" Ron exclaimed after a pause and me and him burst into guffaws, me almost chocking on the grass in my mouth.

"I warned you!" Hermione snapped, "Now you'll pay!" she swung her and at us yelling, "_Shutupio!_" and suddenly my lips were sealed together and they wouldn't come apart.

I tried to breath through my mouth and it was only when I turned purple and nearly fainted I realized I could still breathe through my nose. "Hermione you-" but I couldn't talk. She must have used a spell on my lips. _Well DUH! _I thought to myself.

"Maybe I'll let you go this afternoon. And Maybe not." she laughed. "Maybe you could get Draco to come and undo the spell for you!" and then she giggled and ran away, leaving me and Ron speechless.

"Mmmfh ghgut tooomr frhfhgfsuuf," said Ron, giving me a look of anger.

"Ynghf fgrufh itdn!" I said back. After a pause, me and Ron gave each other smiles and both of us shook hands, vowing to get back at Hermione.

We were still making out our plan, when Draco came up. "Hey, Harry, how's it going?"

I said nothing.

"Oh, okay . . . you don't have to speak if you don't want to . . ." he smiled suddenly. "Hey - look over there! It's a brick wall!"

"Wwmmh?!" me and Ron both turned wildly, trying to see the amazing wall he was pointing to, when suddenly I realized Draco had taken off my shoes and run off with them. "Hgu gjytu hereth Mdldahl!" I yelled, rising to my feet. I was about to chase after him, when I swallowed the grass and choked.


	5. Confused?

CHAPTER FIVE: Confused?

LILLEE92: Thanks for reviewing me! *feels special* Umm. Draco became gay at the end of the fifth year . . . Harry is still completely oblivous to his sexuality. It all comes into focus later . . . I think, anyway. You'll just have to read and find out!!

BENJIMADDENBABE: Sure! I'll check out your story. I try to check out all my reviewers stories. Unless I've never heard of them before. Like Yu-Gi-Oh . . . never watched it . . . wouldn't understand. But, la! And I've been *very* behind . . . but I'm going on vacation so . . . I'm trying!!

SOCKER-CHICK205: Hard-core action? Hmm. I s'pose . . . for you . . . that I could put that in here somewhere . . . Dunno. It won't be soon, however, because Harry is still . . . kinda . . . you'll see!

FROSTEDFLOWER: Hey, cool!^^ I brighten people up! At least, I *think* that's what you were saying . . . however - I'm throwing myself a party tonight - just for being me! *dances* Thankies for your review!!

RENNY: Hermione isn't *my* favourite character either. I dun like her. She's evil. Worse than Draco. Stick around. She gets what's coming to her . . . Won't say what but . . . is has to do with a room with padded walls . . . *ahem*

LIGHT-HEARTED69: WOW! You are now . . . the COOLEST! The Most Unlikely Dare was my fave fic - I *loved* it - and to have you say that was a MAJOR . . . THING!!!! That's it. I'm throwing myself TWO parties!! And you're the best of the guest! Hermione + Ginny? No fair. *pouts* I was already going to write one of those . . . But I'll help! THANKS!

JSTALKER: Thanks for your review! It was . . . weird! but I meant that in a good way! Two of you, eh? Or just one with two personalities? . . . You're a mystery! *X-Files music plays* gulps*

HARMONIC FRICTION: Thankies very much for your reviews! You can't see him as a person with a beer belly? Well . . . neither can I, actually . . . but it SOUNDS cool! La!!! Hope you like this chappy - because I LOVE YOU!!

RAYNE-JELLY: Choked should be spelled like chocked. It *looks* better. It *feels* better and . . . I'm sure it would *taste* better too!! (Just so you know - Pudding = YUCK!!!! *shows you a cross* STAY AWAY!!! No - don't actually leave - I love you! I love you more than . . . things! And I love things a lot! . . . Oh, great . . . Now I'm a perv . . .) Also - choked comes into the story better latter. With lots of candy bars. . . . Okay, *not* with candy bars . . .

CHAPTER FIVE: Confused?

DRACO

I took Harry's shoes and held them protectively to my chest, noticing people's odd stares in my direction and saw people prod others and glance at me suspiciously. I glanced nervously over my shoulder, hoping to see that they were staring at anyone but me, but, unfortunately, it was me they were joking about. 

I tried to shrug it off, as if it didn't bother me, but truth was, it was causing me a big sweat, and I don't look pretty when I sweat . . . Not that I look _pretty _because I look _manly. _I mean, I'm a sixteen year old man, now. If I was seven, maybe I'd look pretty. but not now. Of course not now. Especially since now I'm packed on a few pounds.

*Gasp* NOT that I'm fat or anything. I mean, I've still got the hot body, and everything. Especially in the shower. I look *hot* in the shower . . . or so I'm told anyway . . .

What was I saying before I got onto my hot looks anyhow?

Oh right, a hamburger. My mouth watered as I thought about that, but sharp laughter brought me back to reality, making my head hurt. "Well, it looks as if Draco's got a lot on his mind, doesn't it?" I heard someone snap at me.

I turned around, and found myself face-to-face with Seamus, and I sneered. I didn't have to be nice to *him*, just the Mudblood Hermione and the Weasel. I was sure Harry wouldn't mind if I did something terrible to Seamus. In fact, he'd probably cheer me on. Seamus had become a snotty little prat since the fifth year, and I had been dying to take him on since then.

"Draco Malfoy!" I heard someone call. Actually, it sounded more like, "Drwcko Mdldahl!" but I recognized Harry's voice *anywhere* even if he hadn't even opened his mouth to speak to me.

"Harry!" I exclaimed, turning around, my lips curving into a smile. People froze. Harry stopped in his tracks and others gasped and covered their faces. One person even had the nerve to say, in a pleading voice, "My eyes! Think of my eyes!"

I glared at him, and everyone let out sighs of relief and Harry overcame his shock and continued hurrying toward me. "What do you want?" I asked him, pulling out my wand, about to jinx him, although I knew I couldn't possibly mess him up. He's so cute.

"I want my shoes!" He exclaimed still not opening his mouth, me finding it hard to understand what he was saying and, pausing a moment before giving me a glare and hurrying at me.

"You're going to lose?" I asked, puzzled, taking a step back.

He took a step forward and went bright red. "Mmh!" he exclaimed. Seamus stared a moment, and then laughed.

"Here, Harry," and he muttered something, and Harry could talk again.

"Thanks, Seamus," Harry said, obviously grateful. Seamus just gave him a big grin. 

"He stole your shoes. I'll let *you* take care of him this time."

Harry nodded and took another step toward me. I then realized why he was acting so brave. That smart little pumpkin had remembered about me losing my magic earlier! How thoughtful of him! "Wait!" I exclaimed, and Harry stopped, obviously under some weird command thing.

"Why should I?" he asked. People's heads turned from his to mine, waiting for what I would say.

"You cannot have your shoes back!" I said, my mind racing. The heads turned back to a confused Harry.

"Why not? What is so important about my shoes??" I thought for a moment, everyone looking at me, but then Harry continued to speak, and they turned back to him. "You know what, Malfoy? Why don't I just hex you right now and then I don't have to *worry* about my shoes-"

"Don't!" I gave him the most pathetic look I could muster, and braced myself for the biggest performance that I would ever *ever* have to perform. "I need theses shoes because . . . because . . ." I faked a sob, "We are *poor*! Terribly poor! I don't have enough money to buy anymore shoes - so I stole yours! You cannot take these from me, Po - Harry - because I need these shoes! What if I have none and it begins to snow and the snow freezes my toes and they fall off and I lose them but years later some poor toeless person comes and steals them to glue them onto their own feet so they can *finally* become excepted into society??" 

There was a silence that rang through the corridor and then Harry began to laugh like crazy, others following suit. "Was that totally spontaneous, Malfoy? That was hilarious!" he clutched his side.

"Well, I'm glad you find my miss fortune funny, Potter-" I began in fake anger, my heart pounding furiously. "But-"

"Malfoy . . ." he began, still laughing, not able to catch his breath, "You can - you can . . . oh, god! Just take the shoes!"

My eyes lit up, and my lower lip trembled. Harry Potter . . . The Boy Who Lived . . . was giving me his *shoes*?? I resisted the urge to cry with joy, and instead gave him a almost happy smile. The breath sucked out of everyone in the room, the laughter dying almost instantly.

"What's so wrong with my smile???" I asked, before hurrying away to my dorm room, the laughter continuing as soon as my back had turned.

HARRY

I was having a great dream, no more Malfoy, when suddenly I woke up, screaming. "What? What is it, Harry??" Ron asked, everyone in my dorm hurrying to my bedside.

"Ron, you have to help me get my shoes back from Malfoy!" I exclaimed. "It's all come together now! I *know* what he's going to do! I've figured it out!"

Ron gave me a frightened look. "Is it bad?" he asked, in a hushed tone.

"He's . . ." I began. "I can't even say it . . . But he's . . . he's going to *eat* them!"

AUTHORS NOTE: Yey! It was short . . . I'm sorry. You see. There is a reasonable explanation! . . . Um . . . I've lost my mind. You see? Can't work under those conditions. Also. Going on lovely vacation. Don't know when I'll be back again *sings*. But . . . you should still stay. And read my favourites list! Just . . . don't leave me for them . . . *big smile* But you can't. I've programmed you not to. *crazy, scary laugh*


	6. Turning to Ron

CHAPTER SIX: Turning to Ron

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RiverWhiteDragon: Well, I know his smile was drop-dead gorgeous - *I* didn't laugh. I melted through the floor!! But these people are assuming that if Draco is smiling, then something bad is about to happen. Which is sad, really, because smiling is a good thing. ^^

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Akai Hitomi: Thanks for your review! I never get tired of hearing it's funny!!! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

light-hearted69: Well, all hail the queen of long reviews! That really *was* a long review! You get extra nuts., since yours has been the longest thus far! (yesh, today is a "thus" day! . . . OH no, wait, I've only said it once . . . darn . . .) Anyla, I hope you love this chapter and send me another long review so I can worship you some more! Ciao!^^

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lillee92: Um . . . maybe he wanted to see what it tastes like? I don't know. You should ask Harry - but don't email him - he gets lots of emails, from the president and such. Maybe he was *scary music plays* experimenting!! Ah yesh, I thought I reviewed your storey - but I guess not . . . but I shall! As soon as this chappy is posted! Ta ta!!

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soccer-chick250: Hey, sure! You can be that person - I'll change that chapter as soon as I can. But only because you gave me an Oscar! ^^ Oh, and because I love you and want your feet!

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Olean-Radcliffe: Thanks very much for your review! It was very much happy making for me!^^

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Angel of the eyebrow master: YOU NASTY PERV!!! No, lol, I'm only kidding! I'm glad you're back, and I hope you like this chapter. God does. He told me so. *holy music plays*

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naked lowlife evacuation: Don't laugh your butt off. Then what are you going to sit on???? Lol. I am on a funny-roll today! (Oh, lol, funny-roll! Like a biscuit!! *laughs loudly* realizes nobody else got the joke* stops laughing* . . .) Anyway - enjoy!!

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Renny: Actually, he isn't going to eat them. He was just going to do voodoo on them - but Harry is going slightly crazy this year, he'll believe anything. They're all crazy. And I have to live with them. *sigh* ^^

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bellatrixDIED: SHE DID DIE!!! I READ THE FIFTH BOOK!!! Um, at least I think that's who you are talking about?? Um . . . right. Anyway! I am so glad you love it. Because if you didn't . .. well, then you wouldn't say you did, right? Right!

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Lady Darkness: Yey! I am on another *list*! And, I'm sorry if I confused you. Sometimes I seem to confuse myself. With "what the heck does city mean?" ya know? . . . Right. Well, I hope you love this chapter!!

*~enjoy~*

RON

Harry has been seriously spooked since he decided Draco decided he was going to eat his shoes. I tried to tell Harry that it was ridiculous. Draco wouldn't eat shoes. And, he kind of *couldn't* eat Harry's shoes, but Harry didn't seem to listen. He was in a world of his own, and my advice meant nothing to him. However, the longer Malfoy wore his shoes, the happier Harry seemed to be, and the more I decided I was safe.

Sirius sent Harry a new pair of shoes after Harry sent him a letter that he was grieving after his last pair, but Harry constantly complained that they just weren't the same. These shoes *fitted* him, apparently *that* was the problem. 

After awhile, he seemed to forget about the Shoe Thing, until one day Malfoy didn't wear them. Hermione tried to preoccupy him from looking at Malfoy's feet, but once he noticed it, he grew deadly pale, and didn't speak to either of us. He lost it in DADA that day, breaking down in front of the whole classroom exclaiming he had lost his best friends because Malfoy had eaten them. The teacher, Professor Regian, told the both of them to report to his class later that night for detention, obviously thinking the whole thing was a joke.

Although I was sure most of the class knew that Draco *hadn't* eaten Harry's best friend, the other half seemed to avoid him at all cost. Which made Draco seem a little more frightened of everyone, but only for a moment. Because then he took out a Pudding Pack and began to eat it. Parvati stared at him before exclaiming, "After eating Harry's friends you're *still* hungry?!" and Draco put his Pudding away, with a saddened look on his face, as if at any moment he was going to cry.

I noticed that Hermione was staring at Draco with a lustful stare, which gave me the impression she liked him. Or maybe it was when she stood up and slapped Parvati, exclaiming: "He can eat pudding if he wants! There is nothing wrong with pudding!" and so, she got detention too, although somehow, before the day was over, she got out of it. That conniving little freak . . .

I was one of the last to leave the classroom after scattering my papers all over the floor and telling Hermione and Harry not to worry about it, I'd meet them in the common room. I sighed after they had gone, and began to pick them up, and heard other feet moving, noticing that somebody was helping me do so. When all my papers had been picked up I began to thank the person, "Hey thanks for - MALFOY?!?"

"Thanks for Malfoy?" he asked, handing me my papers and giving me a smile.

I gasped. Malfoy . . . smiling . . . couldn't be good.

"Oh, right," he said, suddenly giving me a glare. "You guys don't *like* my smiling thing . . ." he sighed, and I finally relaxed, still having scary images in my head. "Listen, Weas . . . Ron . . . I was wondering . . . Does Harry like boys?"

The question made me take a step back, suddenly stricken. "What do you mean??"

"Just as I asked you. Does Harry Potter . . . like boys?"

"Well, I suppose he *does* doesn't he?" Malfoy grinned. "I mean, I'm his best friend-" his smile disappeared. Which was just as well for me, his smile was one of the freakiest . . . cutest . . . things I had ever seen.

"That's not what I meant, you prat. I *meant* . . . I *meant* would he . . . would he . . ." he seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence, so I tried to help out.

"Strip for money?" I asked.

Draco paused, stunned. "What the *hell*?" he asked. I shrugged, my face burning.

"I was just . . . you know . . . trying to . . .I was . . ."

"Trying to get Harry to strip?" Draco asked, finishing my sentence for me. Me and him both gave off short chuckles, but stopped suddenly, at the exact same moment. This was *Draco* I was with. No way could I ever, *would* I ever share something in common with *him* . . .

"Anyway . . . what were you going to ask?"

"Oh . . . right . . . See, I was wondering if Harry would ever mind . . . you know?" he asked, seeming very pleased with himself. "Wow, thanks Ron. I'm glad you'll pass that along to Harry for me. Meet me later tonight, at the Library. But before ten, because that's when my detention is. See ya, mate." and he left a strange glint in his eyes.

HARRY

Ron came up to me when he got to the Common Room and pulled me away from everyone. "Harry . . I ran into Draco earlier-" I whimpered slightly, thinking of my shoes . . . and thinking of the detention I had to spend with Malfoy . . . that I was strangely looking forward to . . . "And . . . he said that . . . he told me to ask you if you would ever mind you know."

I stared at him a moment trying to act like I was thinking _what the hell does that mean? _but really, I was thinking more along the lines of _I hope my shoes are okay. I never even got to say a proper goodbye._. "If I would ever you know?" I asked finally, a few minutes later, after realizing Ron was now sitting down in a chair beside me, looking tired and bored.

"Well, he didn't say it like *that*, exactly. It was more like . . . Would he ever mind . . . you know? Kind of . . . question like."

I stared at him another moment, and excuse to continue thinking of my shoes funeral. I'd have to have someone play the flute and someone to say a few words and some people to witness . . . "So . . . when did this run-in thing happen?" I had thought far to long that time. Ron was reading a book at that point.

"You're still here, Harry?" he asked confused, before setting the book down. "Lordy, it takes you long enough to think."

I shrugged. "Anyway," he continued. "It happened right after Defence Against the Dark Arts. When I dropped my work all over the floor. He helped me pick them up . . . Oh - now I remember! . . . he-" he went bright red, and I suddenly forgot about my shoes, Fredrick and Anita, (yes, yes. If they were dead then they at *least* deserved *names* . . .) "He asked, at first, if you liked boys."

I froze, but Ron didn't seem to notice it.

"He seemed *really* nervous about it. But I was like, man, you're my best friend, so *why* wouldn't you like guys? I think Draco's just a little too . . . *blonde* sometimes . . ." he kept talking and talking, but I had already toned out.

What did this mean? Draco was going to ask me out if I said yes? _But you can't like him, _said a voice in my head, _What about Kara? What will she think? _

Damn. I had totally forgotten about her. She was still on vacation, and was returning in a week. I had a *lot* to tell her . .. "No," I said, quietly.

"Huh?" Ron asked, losing his train of thought.

"Tell Dra - _Malfoy _that I said no. And, if you don't mind. I'm going to rest awhile, before detention." I slowly stood up, and walked into my dorm, a million things on my mind.

"But wait!" I heard Ron call, "I'm still your best friend - and I'm a guy - so . . . so you *like* guys, right??" I didn't answer. Ron had no idea what Draco was talking about.

DRACO

Ron came up me a little before nine, a small look on his face. "He's lying," he said abruptly. "He won't admit it. And I know *why* he won't admit it, but he *does* like boys. I don't know what's so hard about admitting it. *I* like guys, and I'm not afraid to say anything . . ." some people stared at us and I went bright red, covering my face with my hand.

After awhile of Ron talking I grew hungry and pulled out a Pudding Pack. I hadn't had one all day thanks to Harry, and now I wanted one more than ever. I always carried them around, in case I got bored, in case I got hungry, in case I had work to do, in case I was talking . . .I had millions of excuses in case a teacher grew suspicious or something.

Ron watched me eat it and didn't say anything until I offered him a bite. He shook his head quickly, as if he couldn't believe that I would say that to him. "Malfoy . . . I think you're scaring Harry," he said. "And I know you have every reason to *want* to scare him. You're enemies and stuff . . . but . . ."

"Would you rather I be . . . *nice*?"

He looked suddenly frightened and exclaimed, "NO!" the Librarian shushed us. Ron lowered his voice. "You see . . . He really misses Fredrick and Anita. He thinks you've eaten them."

"I've eaten who? . . . Oh, wait - was *that* what was going on in Defence Against the Dark Arts? His friends that I . . . *ate*?"

Ron nodded. "Actually, they are his *shoes*." I gulped. "You see . . . he's very attached to them . .. So I was wondering if you could please, please, *please* wear them tomorrow?"

"Huh? How is *that* going to help??"

Ron sighed. "Because the shoes mean the world to him. And he's been moping around since he discovered you'd eaten them."

"Yeah - but I *haven't*. I don't even *like* shoes!" the Librarian shushed us again, more angrily this time. "I mean . . ." my voice trailed off and I pulled out another Pudding, after finishing the first one.

Ron sighed. "Yeah? Prove it to him . . . Listen, why don't you just wear them to detention tonight?"

"Hey, yeah. I could do that . . ." I nodded to myself.

The Librarian noticed I was eating and exploded. "THAT'S IT - GET OUT!" and me and Ron quickly left the library without looking at each other again.

A/N: Don't you just get used to seeing my beautiful comments at the bottom of this screen, always with something new to say . . . Yes, well, now you have seen chapter six! The one I wanted you to see! Why? Not sure, exactly. But, hey, you saw it! And now you'll get to see chapter seven! . . .As soon as I find it . . . review please!


	7. Detention

CHAPTER SEVEN: Detention

Reviewer thanks!!

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RiverWhiteDragon: *clears throat* I shall (today is a "shall" day, whilst yesteryear was a "thus" day. Also, today is a "whilst" day . . . don't ask) answer all of your questions. 1) You shall see! I wouldn't be h/d slash if not . . . but I don't know how soon it will happen . . . *mischievous grin* or if it doesn't.2) Yesh. Kara *will* appear soon. For the time being, she is on vacation at Miami, soaking up the sun. *sings* 3) Ohh. I dunno. Actually . .. I haven't even decided on her yet . . . *nervous laugh* . . Well, hope you enjoy . . .

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Light-hearted69: *big watery eyes* there is always one person who makes me want to cry. *pulls out gun* Today, it's you!!! No, no. I'm joking. I don't want to shoot you. I gave you nuts. Why would I shoot you?? Are you *ever* going to update your storey? Because I'm dying of boredom here. Really. I am. So you should update. So I can stop amusing myself. And that wasn't supposed to come out perverted . . .

Well, this is my *sad* chapter! Enjoy! Or rather . . . don't.

HERMIONE

Harry seemed distant about a half hour before he left to go to detention, and Ron wasn't around to talk to him, so my motherly instincts made me put down my book and ask him what was wrong. I couldn't stand his moping. I vowed that if it was about the shoes I would absolutely *kill* Malfoy the next time I saw him. Sure, I used to be madly in love head-over-heels for the guy. But not since he ate Fredrick and Anita - I mean - not since he *took* Harry's shoes . . .

I now found Malfoy an annoying, selfish pig . . . Seamus, on the other hand . . .

"It's . . . nothing." he said, sitting down in the chair beside me and rubbing his eyelids.

"You can tell *me*. I'm not Ron. I'll understand it." not that I think Ron is stupid . . . just that he gets things a little too slowly . . . that is, if he gets them at all . . .

He sighed, reluctantly, and spoke in a small voice. "I've been . . . well, since this school year began . . . I've been having these *dreams* about someone that I wouldn't normally want to dream about. At *all*. And it was freaky at *first* but then . . . I guess I began to *like* having the dreams about hi - I mean . . . this person. But when I'm around this person . . . I don't like the dreams . . ."

"I see . . . so . . . who is the girl?"

He laughed quietly and moaned before saying, "Wellit'snotagirlandthat'swhyI'mworried," in one, quick, breath.

It took me a moment to figure it out but once I did my eyes widened. "You mean that it's a *guy*, Harry?"

He nodded, almost painfully.

I held back a happy grin. Guys and guys together . .. Mmm . . . "Well, obviously, if once you're around this person you don't like the dreams, then it means you don't like him. It means . . . well, what do you *do* in your dreams?"

He looked away. "Well, lots of things, actually. It's different every night. It really just depends on . . . I dunno."

I nodded, my face falling some. I was hoping for a *little* bit on what he and another guy were doing . . even snogging would be okay . . . "Okay . . . well, you *can't* like him, obviously, you have a girlfriend now."

He looked suddenly ill. "Yeah . . ." he said quietly, looking at his watch. "Well, it's almost ten, I had better . . . get it over with . . ."

"Great time talking with you Harry . . . But wait - who was the guy??" Maybe I could set them up! Kara would totally understand . . .

"It was . . . nobody." he said, before leaving.

I seemed to notice that Harry was acting rather . . . *strange*. Almost protective over this guy. Like he *liked* him, or something . . .But Harry was straight, right? He didn't like guys . . .

DRACO

I've noticed that if I rearrange the "A" and the "O" in my name, it changes to Droca. It *looks* nicer, but it sounds really weird . . . I was deep into the thought of changing my name to Droca when I ran into Harry. I leaped backward, and wiped off my robes, pretending to be angry. But how I could I be angry when Harry - gorgeous, sweet, kind, tall, Harry was standing in front of me?

"Draco," he said, before walking into Professor Regian's room. I couldn't help but notice the distant look on his face, and grew slightly worried. But then again . . . I could cheer him up before the class was over. I was *very* good at that. I just had to remember not to smile . . .

Professor Regian glanced at us when we walked in, but then handed us a stack of papers that seemed to have . . . like . . . *thousands* of papers . . . I sighed. "Are we . . . filing these?" I asked, taking the seat by Harry.

"No," he said, with a smile, "You're grading them . . ."

Me and Harry exchanged glances, but after that he never looked at me again. It would have ended just as it had started. Grading papers. But, when i was just about done, Professor Regain left the room after hearing some voice outside. "Draco," Harry began , not looking up from his small stack he was grading.

"What?" I snapped, inwardly feeling all fuzzy and warm. Like fluffy little kittens that have just opened their eyes . . . I wanted to hold a kitten at that moment . . . Harry looked *nothing* like a kitty, though.

"Ron said that you spoke to him this morning," he began, causing me to freeze. _That weasel! How could I have asked *him* that? He can't keep things quiet, can he? Well, I'll kill him . . . somehow . . . _

"Yes. I spoke to him. What of it?"

"He said that you asked him . . ." he didn't say anything for a moment. And when he continued, it was in a voice that seemed to pain him. "Well, *you* know what you told him to ask me. And Ron probably told you yes. . . but I said no." my glare suddenly disappeared and there was nothing on my face. No smirk, no evil look, no happy smile . . . nothing. Because I had thought I had a chance with this guy, and suddenly . . . I didn't. The record player smashed, and I felt my heart break into two pieces. One that loved Harry Potter for all he was worth, and the other that wanted to kill him . . . Then there was the small section that hated Ronald Weasly more than anything. 

"Well . . . okay then . . ." I finished my last paper and put it on the top of the pile. "Tell Professor Regian I finished, will you?" and I went to leave, ignoring that Harry had just called my name. Suddenly, I just wanted to be alone.

A/N: I know. It was short and stupid and it didn't make you laugh at all! I apologize! This chapter and the next one are kinda sad-ish. Harry is realizing a lot of . . . *things* at this point. And he won't believe them. But enough about him. This website is killing me. I have to refresh EVERY SINGLE PAGE I GO TO! I didn't even show chapter six on this storey until I hit *refresh*. It's making me mad. *growl* Tell me I'm not alone on this???


	8. Eating You Up

CHAPTER EIGHT: Eating You Up

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shiroiryu144: Thanks for your review, newest reader! And, I think you'll get what you asked for soon. And by soon I mean that I had *no* idea when I'm going to make that happen. Guess it depends on how soon everyone wants it . . .

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light-hearted69: Did I tell you my email address got changed? It's now Marz2moon@aol.com. Wasn't sure if I emailed you or not, about it. And it's okay for your *short* review. And I know what ttfn stands for! I used to do it all the time! I thought I made it up!! . . . But, sadly, I guess not. *softly cries*

Angeloftheeyebrowmater: I shall check it out just as soon as I'm done typing this chapter. I dunno about this length. I was rushed. *very* rushed.

soccer-chick250: Did I promise you I'd make you that one guy? Guess I haven't changed it yet, have I? I'll do it right now! . . . Okay - now!! ^^ 

REYAN

Draco is fucking hot. I fucking *love* his hot body . . . I could just *picture* every single thing I was going to do to him . . . of course, if he liked guys. If he didn't - well - then why bother? But damn. I'm starting to grow restless here. He's been moping around for a long time and it's beginning to freak all the Slytherin's out. Even more so than his . . . his . . . *smiling* thing.

But even so . . . I share a room with him. I sleep in the bed next to him . . . I dream about shagging him . . . Which makes my mouth water. 

Even now, he's laying in his bed beside me . . . staring at the ceiling with a dazed expression . . . I fucking *love* that expression . . . "Sure. I'd *love* to fuck Draco. Throw him on the ground, rip off his clothing and give him a shag he'll never forget." everyone in my dorm stared at me, including Draco. "I mean . . . oh shit, did I say that out loud?"

Draco began to laugh. And I felt my face grow hot. When he calmed down he sat up in his bed and stared at me. "This is *very* awkward . . . Now, if you don't mind . . ."

"Yeah?" *don't look at his body, don't look at his body . . .*

"I would rather you leave me the fuck alone. You're beginning to *really* scare me." and he quickly left, leaving everyone to stare at me.

One of the people in our house shook his head.

HARRY

Hermione was the first person to notice that I was upset. Of course, it *did* take her a lot longer than I had expected it . . . In fact . . . the thing that probably gave her the hint that I was upset was when I actually wanted to skip Quidditch to do my homework. Ron just gawked at me, like he didn't believe it was possible. Even Hermione held back a face.

"Um . . . I'll come back later . . ." Ron said, edging away from me, "When you're sane . . ." and he left screaming, "HARRY'S GONE MAD!"

Hermione hesitated a moment before her motherly instincts kicked in again and she took a seat beside me. "Harry . . . is there something . . . *wrong*?"

I stared at her, "No. I just . . . like homework . . ."

"No you don't!" she exclaimed. "You're going mad, Harry, Ron was right! We'll have to lock you away - I promise I'll come and visit you - to make sure they aren't trying to kill you or anything. Because . . . well, I *am* your friend Harry-"

"Hermione - I think I'm crushing on Draco."

There was a silence as she took this in. Her eyes widened. "No . . . you don't like Draco . . . You're mad. You've gone crazy. Thousands of ants have crawled into your brain and are controlling it with feelings that you have no power over . . . That *has* to be it!"

"No. I . . . I think I actually *like* Draco . . . although, I guess I could blame it on ants . . . that might make sense . . ."

Hermione went pink. "I can't believe it's DRACO!" several people stared.

"Hermione . . ." I said weakly. "Could you - maybe - keep your voice down?"

"Harry - what has gotten into you?! You've fallen in love with your arch enemy?! Draco Malfoy of *all* people! I don't understand you! It's - it's *DRACO*!" she began to shake me, her grip on my shoulders cutting off the circulation in my arm. "He is a nasty - evil - *thing* -"

"You're . . . choking . .. me!" I exclaimed as her hands tightened around my neck.

The kids in the Common Room noticed Hermione had lost it and tried to pull her off of me. She had gone mad - and she was going to kill me!

HERMIONE

I'm not sure why I'm choking him. I used to like Malfoy. *Ron* used to like Malfoy. So . . . why am I trying to murder Harry?

DRACO

The next morning after Reyan's freak out I went into the Great Hall and everyone stared at me. Nobody said a word, you could hear a pencil land on the carpet. I froze in the doorway and looked behind me, hoping to see somebody else they were staring at . . . but, once again . . . it was me. 

I think the school has lost it. They have to of. Suddenly nobody seems to be able to breathe . . . and for some reason I want to do a little dance . . . just to see their reactions of course . . I don't *really* like to dance or anything . . . "Heyyy!" I said cheerfully, shaking my hips side to side.

"TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!" Reyan shouted.

I froze. Several people nodded in agreement. "YOU'VE ALL LOST YOUR MIND! THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!" and I ran off, trying to straighten out what had just happened . . .

"Did they stare at you too?" a familiar voice said. 

"Hey, back off, asshole," I snapped, not even bothering to see who it was.

"I was just asking you a question. Maybe I could tell you *why* they were staring but . . ."

It all came together now. This was *Harry* speaking. "Harry??" I asked, my eyes growing wide. I guess if I wanted to . . . I could look innocent . . . like a Catholic school girl. Except . . . I'm not Catholic. And I'm not a school girl. And . . . Catholic school girls aren't normally *good*. Anyway, I was smiling again, and Harry seemed to hesitate, so I forced it to go away.

The trouble about these people? I can't show I'm happy. It really stinks. Especially since Harry *makes* me happy. 

He moved toward me, a small grin on his face. "You know . . . I think I'm beginning to get used to your smile . . ."

"Really?" I wanted to smile then. I had been practicing for this moment. I always knew there would be a time when I had to *pretend* to be Harry's pal . . . I ignored the Voice in my head that told me I had already *tried* to be his friend but it wasn't very successful . . . 

"Hey . . . I just wanted to say . . . that I'm sorry." he looked down at the floor as he spoke. And for the first time since my fourth year at Hogwarts . . . I almost hated him again. He was sorry for breaking my heart? I could have moved on about it. Pretend it never happened . . . But now that he apologized there was nothing I could do.

_Well, Draco. I always told you the day would come when Harry admitted the truth to you. Maybe if you had listened to me like I told you in the first place you could have avoided this . . . But, you're just stubborn. _"Shut up," I said to it, not expecting it to be out loud . . .

"What?" Harry asked.

"Hm? Um . . . *nothing*. I wasn't even speaking to the Voice inside of my head that tries to ruin my way of life by making me think of all the negative things. That wasn't it. At *all*." Harry stared at me. "I told you that wasn't it!" I exclaimed. "Just . . . ahem . . . forget it."

He nodded, tentatively, and continued what he was saying. "I'm sorry . . . because you didn't actually give me the time to finish. You know, you kind of left after I told you I said no . . . But no wasn't what I meant. I've never *liked* a boy before . . . But that doesn't mean that I can't or *won't* like them." he seemed almost reluctant to continue. Inwardly my heart soared. But on the outside I probably showed how mature and accepting I was about these things . . . I'm sure I did . . .

"Well, that's really *great* Potter, but what does it have to do with *me*?"

"Does *everything* have to do with you?" he snapped at me.

"Yes. Everything *does*. Otherwise you wouldn't have come this way to apologize to me about it -"

"I thought that I liked you. But if you're going to be all sassy about it then-" he froze, as if he didn't mean to say that out loud, and then went bright red. "Ignore that," he said. "Um . . . anyway . . . I'm sorry." and then he left, quickly.

It took me a moment to take all of this in. But I didn't understand it. Harry *didn't* like me. It wasn't possible . . . Actually, it was more possible for thousands of ants to have crawled into his brain and began controlling it with feelings that he had no power over. And besides . . . he was still with Kara . . .

A/N: BTW school is starting up again on August 8th, which is tomorrow. I don't know how often I'll be able to update, but I will try as hard as I can. If you give me money . . . Oh yesh, and how was this chapter for length? Better? Yesh. That's what I thought. *smirk*


	9. Hermione's Problem

CHAPTER NINE: Hermione's Problem

A/N: AHHHHH! I'M BACK!!! I know. It was . . . a few days since my last update and all - but my computer totally crashed and I lost *everything!!* I had to re-write - like - all these chapters I had saved, and now I'm sad. Really sad. *softly sobs* But . . . I s'pose eventually I'll *have* to rewrite. For you guys. Which I love!!

I would like to thank each of you individually, but I cannot do that anymore, since I have limited time on this thing now - but if you ask a question I'll be able to answer . . . I think. Anyhow, enjoy!

DRACO

It was all over the school today that Harry had decided to break up with Kara. I thought it was funny. Surely it was all a joke. I mean, for fucks sake, Harry wouldn't dump Snape's cousin's sister's husband's daughter's niece. Or something like that. Besides that, well, she was related to *Snape* - she was also part veela. And she *was* gorgeous. 

But if Potter is telling the truth . . . she's not as hot as me.

Oh, shut up. He didn't say he though I was *hot*. Actually . . . he didn't even say he liked me. I was told to close the eyes to it. Which meant pretend he didn't say that. Which meant now I was confused. More confused than I normally was. Which meant that I thought more and more about Pudding. That isn't confusing. Which made me feel special. Which freaked everyone out.

"Which" is a cool word . . .

Um . . . Anyway . . . I've become a genius. I found a way to find out who Harry was breaking up with Kara for. A spell, that *everyone* would notice once I tried it . . . Only problem was, I had no magic, and I'd have to find someone to do it for me, without asking any questions as to *why* . . . And, I had to do research, *again* , to find out if they even had the kind of spell I was looking for . . .

RON

Harry has finally lost it. I think he's having some kind of nervous breakdown or something. He jumps every time someone opens a door, as if someone is following him, every time someone says "Slytherin" his ears go bright red and he snaps at them, and, the most important thing that has everyone (excluding Hermione) worried: He's going to break up with Kara.

It's not as if he even *wants* to do it. He's told me a million times how much he *loves* her and how much he *fancies* her, and how this was going to *hurt* him. I tried to tell him that if he liked her and all, why dump her? But, poor, nervous, broke down, disturbed, Harry. His eyes just got really watery and he shook his head sadly.

Hermione says I'm oblivious if I haven't noticed what's going on right now. Everyone seems to be really focused on him and Draco now-a-days. Draco seems to love it. He likes to dance whenever they stare at him. Harry, however, looks as if he's going to cry and almost always screams, "Don't tell Kara!" before running away.

Hermione is very *very* cold toward Harry now. She's always got a snide remark to say to him, and makes it an every day habit to yell at him for dumb things. She says she doesn't know why she does it, because she isn't mad. She's actually very pleased with him.

Harry doesn't even care that Hermione does this. I think he's learned to turn off his brain. I've always wanted to learn how to do that. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do it yet. I can kind of put my brain on hold . . . but not shut it completely off.

Maybe that's a good thing. . . .

Yeah. Well. Draco keeps talking to himself now. Normally it's things such as "shut up!" and "I'm warning you!" but yesteryear, after coming back from the Library, he got into a fight with his mind. It was very funny, actually. Me and a bunch of others sat around eating popcorn as he cussed himself out, and beat himself stupid with his own fists. We didn't leave until he had knocked himself out completely after ramming into a wall.

Right. Well . . .

At least Harry isn't alone in this "breakdown" thing . . .

HERMIONE

I went to visit Draco in the Hospital Wing when Harry said he refused to do it. I yelled at him, saying, "Oh, so now you're *afraid* to see your lover???" and people around me grew uneasy. As if I was going to start choking him again. Ron, still completely oblivious to the whole situation, just screamed, "WHY CAN'T WE ALL GET ALONG??" before bursting into forced tears and running to his dorm-room.

Anyway. I was halfway to the Hospital Wing when I heard someone screaming. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?! YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME! YOU'RE NOT EVEN *REAL*!" and I hurried in that direction, only to find Draco laying in his hospital bed screaming into his pillow.

"Um . . . Draco?" I said, weakly, pulling the pillow off his head before he suffocated himself. But, knowing him, he was probably trying to do that now. They considered locking him away, like I had suggested when Harry confessed his newest crush.

"Granger?" he said, surprised. "Well . . . I wasn't expecting *you* of all people . . . Actually, I was expecting Reyan . . .and . . . maybe Goyle . . . if he could find the place . . ." his face was bruised and red. He looked as if he was sweating. Which made me wonder how long he had been under that pillow, and where the hell was Madame Pomfrey?

"Where the hell is Madame Pomfrey?"

"Um . . . I think that after twenty minutes of trying to talk me out of fighting with Gregory, she gave up on me. I dunno. She muttered something about 'crazy', 'useless', and 'mental case' . . . Reyan actually *did* come. But then he told me *why* he had come, and I threw him out."

"O . . . kay . . ." I said, pretending like I understood what was going on. "who's Gregory?"

"Gregory? He's the Voice in the back of my head. He's the one I've been fighting with. Apparently, he thinks he smarter and hotter than me and - you know what - just shut up - okay??? You're really pissing me off! -- No! *You* be quiet! You know what-" I caught his fist as he directed it at his face. "I can do it *myself*!" he said, snatching his hand away from me.

"Uh-huh . . . Listen, Draco . . . I've come here to give you . . . disturbing news."

"Yeah? Well, I'd rather you *not* say anything. You're scaring me. I don't like having a Mudblood hanging all over me-" in an instant I had pulled out my wand and pointed it directly between his eyes. "Go ahead," he snapped. "At least it'll shut Gregory up."

I breathed hard for a moment, before putting my wand away. It was useless. Malfoy would always be Malfoy, and even though I would like for him to be Seamus ,(Seamus . . . drool . .. ), he's going to *stay* Malfoy. And if Harry wanted to like this . . . *thing* . . . I would *have* to support him. Maybe even see what Harry saw in this . . *thing* . . . Though I *did* used to like him . . .

It was a *long* time ago.

"I came to tell you that-"

"Actually, Granger . . . I was wondering if you could do me a favour?"

"A . . . a favour??" I spat. "You call me a Mudblood and then you ask me for a favour?! You make me sick, Malfoy! You're one of the most-"

"Let me know when you're finished," he said, a twinkle in his eye that made me think he was Dumbledor.

I growled. "You - you -!" my breathing sped up, but then returned to normal. "What kind of favour?"

"I want you to put this spell on Harry. Point your wand at his forehead and say _Scarapodia _and then-"

"Wait, wait, wait. What kind of *spell* is this? What does it do?" he handed me a book and I turned to the page that told all about the spell. "Oh . . I see. You want to know who he likes, right?" before he could say anything it clicked. "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO HE LIKES!!! Oh my *god*, Draco! Does that mean you're crushing on Harry?"

DRACO

Yes.

HERMIONE

"No!" he exclaimed. "I just want to see if . . . if he still likes Kara. And *why* he's going to break up with her if . . . Oh, stop giving me that look, Hermione! I *don't* - okay, I *do*. But don't say *anything*." I stared at him a moment. 

"Okay. I won't. And I'll do it . . ." and suddenly, I was choking him.

A/N: Okay. How was it? You know what? *pulls out machine gun* I really don't care what *you* think. I hope you *choke* as a matter-of-fact. Yeah. You heard me!!!!

Ummm. I'm writing another Harry/Draco slash fic!! It's called Demented Stones, look for it . . . Specially if you like . . . ahem . . . *mature* readings.

Now that I think about it - I shouldn't have tried to kill you. I take it back. MWUA!


	10. Lightning

CHAPTER TEN: Lightning

A/N: *apologizes to every single body who was waiting for this extremely long update and begins her "sorry" speech* I'm sorry. *gets hit with bananas*

Ok, I never promised rewriting everything would be fast! It takes time! Patience! And LOTS of red hair dye.

Anyhow, thanks to all my LOVELY reviewers. Really. Don't kill yourself or anything, because I would miss you terribly! When the storey is over, though, go ahead and die. I won't care.

No - that was a LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

HARRY

So . . . it's come to this . . . Hermione has been locked away for the weekend. They say she's gone crazy. Choking people. Screaming at people . . . stealing Pudding . . . Poor, poor, Draco. When he found out she had eaten it all he began to cry uncontrollably. Like he had lost his best friend, or something. It was almost like when *I* lost Fredrick and -

_Don't think about THEM. _

Right. It was almost like when I lost my . . . towel. I felt really sad. Better now? Yup. I'm just peachy.

Anyway. After Hermione . . . got locked away . . . me and Ron had the time to be alone together again. To talk. He was still *very* confused about why Draco and me had been singled out, and I figured I had to tell him before he exploded. You just can't hide these things from Ron. It's just plain wrong. He'll go crazy . . . Hermione couldn't get him to understand it, the *school* couldn't get him to understand it, so *I'd* have to get him to understand it. Even if it took all night.

"Ron. We have to talk. Even if it takes all night." I said to him, pulling up a chair beside him in the Gryffindor common room.

"Not now, Harry," he said, writing a long letter.

"Who's the letter to?" I asked, jovially, trying to get a glimpse at it. He pulled it away, almost instantly, and rolled it up.

"It's to Hermione, if you must know. I feel that she needs some support as she gets healed for . . . her . . . *problem*. And - I want to *be* there for her. And not be afraid of her . . . I don't have any reason to, yet, actually. She hasn't choked *me*-"

"Ron. I like Draco. Hermione found out and began choking me and I didn't know why. And now she's choking Draco so I can only assume that she told him about me and he turned me down or something and now I feel horrible. More horrible than the fact that I'm breaking up with Kara to be with the guy I'll never be able to get." I said in one breath, panting after I have finished.

Ron stared at me a moment. He blinked. Then he blinked again. Then he began writing again.

"Ron?" I asked. He didn't look up. "Did you get what I just said?"

His eyes grew wide. "I guess there's no more sense in hiding it anymore . . . But . . . I don't *get* it!" and he ran upstairs, leaving the note on the table, and sobbing, hysterically.

People in the common room stared at me. "Don't look at *me*. All I said to him was that I liked Draco!"

Some of them shook their heads.

Ron came running back down stairs, still wailing loudly. "I forgot my letter!" he cried, grabbing it and racing back to the dorm.

Everyone kept their eyes on him, until he was gone. There was a lengthy silence . . . and then . . . "Okay, so, how about the Quidditch game last night?" and everyone began talking again.

DRACO

Damn that Granger! I had *almost* gotten her to do the damn spell for me - but what did she *have* to do? She had to choke me and get locked away in some Mental Institution. And it couldn't even wait until *after* she performed her little . .. _Choke of death!_

~scary music plays~

~All stops and is quiet again~

Um . . . right. Anyhow, so now my problem is either that I wait for her to get out, when Kara has already come home, *or* I can find somebody else to do it. The problem is . . . I don't really have anyone else who *can* do it . . . Except Reyan. And that's it.

And I really, really, *really* Don't want to see that bastard again.

REYAN

Draco wants me. He won't admit it yet. But I know it. How can he resist me?

Forget the fact that he and Potter have something going on. Forget the fact that he told me to leave him alone and had completely ignored me for awhile. Forget the fact that he's going crazy.

I still love that guy. And he still . . .

Anyway.

He called me to him while he was in the Hospital Wing, and maybe I *did* get a little to dressy just for walking there to talk and all, but hey, it's to see *Draco*. He looks good all the time, no matter what he's wearing. He has the money to support the fancy clothing, so he can strut his tight little ass around school in the most expensive clothes ever and nobody would care. BUt when *I* do it . . . People stare at me.

"I have decided that me and Draco are meant to be. Sure, he knows I want to fuck him, but he *doesn't* know I have a shrine of him in my trunk that I love to kiss every night - and that if we ever got together then it would make me the happiest man on the earth," I realized every one was staring. "Did I just say that out loud? Shit! What the hell is it with me anymore???"

A guy shook his head and walked away. I have made it a mission to find out who that dumb head shaking guy is so I can kill him. KILL HIM.

I read Draco's diary. Maybe he doesn't know that I know that he hides it under his second mattress underneath a YM Magazine, but I do. And every night I read it just to see if he's fallen for me yet. Unfortunately, he hasn't. He's got it bad for that bloke, Potter. I mean, sure, Harry's got that boyish charisma and he's good at Quidditch and he looks great in a swimsuit and he's easy to talk to and he's extremely hot. But there's more to it than that. He's not Draco. Draco is something . . . *more*.

DRACO

My jaw dropped when Reyan walked in the room. What was he expecting to happen all dressed up like that? Did he think I had some private French cuisine that I was going to serve him? No. I just needed a favour . . . and maybe he took *that* the wrong way too . . . But of course he would . . . He's *Reyan*. And he's *perverted*. Why not?

"Reyan . . . sit," he sat automatically in the chair nearest the door way at which he had entered, his eyes wide with wonder as he stared at me. "Sit over *here*" he moved to the chair beside my bed that I pointed at, and blew me a kiss.

For a moment I didn't speak. *This guy is as strange as hell.* "You . . . wanted to see me . . . *Draco?*" his eyes lit up when he spoke my name and I edged away from him, gulping.

"Yes. Yes I did." he moved closer, and I scooted further back. "But you know what? It's not that important at *all.* In *fact* I found someone else to do it for me! So . . . I just wanted you to come so I could . . . tell you not to come!" He ran his hands up my torso and I scooted so far back that I fell off the bed.

"Are you okay?!?!" he cried, bending over, nothing but concern showing in his eyes, and he helped me to my feet, and dusted me off, while I just stood staring. Reyan *liked* me. I s'pose I knew this - just ignored it. I *could* just use him to get to Harry . . . But I quickly erased that thought out of my mind and shoved him off.

"You're just as bad as Granger!" I snapped, laying back down on my bed. "I only called you here to ask for a favour . . ." and I watched the expression on his face as I told him everything.

HARRY

Draco is beginning to scare me. He's sicked Reyan on my tail and now I'm never alone anymore. I can't eat without Reyan over my shoulder, and I can't go to the bathroom without him watching. Draco's always been good at finding his stalkers, and Reyan is the best one yet. 

I can't even go to bed anymore, he stands beside me, watching as I sleep. It's very scary. I broke Draco's heart and he repays me by having some lunatic stalk me?! . . . So I decided to have a little chat with Reyan.

"Reyan?" I asked, into the night. I knew he was there. He's *always* there.

"Yes, Harry?" I jumped. How on earth he got onto the bed beside me I'll never know.

"Umm . . . I was just wondering . . . why you've been following me?"

He seemed to heat up at this. "You think that just because you've won Draco's heart that this is over?!" he screamed, causing Ron and Seamus to wake up, startled.

I shushed him. "No! No - I didn't-"

"You think that Draco *loves* you, huh?! Face it, Harry! He just thinks that you're a good fuck and nothing more!" Neville and Dean awoke too.

"What's going on?" Seamus asked, turning on the light and staring at Reyan and me. Everyone seemed to be wide awake now.

"But me and Draco haven't - and we aren't even - and Draco doesn't-!"

"Okay, Harry, you can keep playing dumb, but I'm not going to take it! Maybe *Draco* finds that attractive and cute and whatever, but I think it's stupid! You're stupid!"

"Stupid?!" I cried, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

_"Scarapodia!" _he yelled, pointing his wand at my forehead. I cringed and waited for something bad to happen, but nothing did.

There was silence as everyone looked at me to see what he had jinxed me with. Then Seamus laughed, sheepishly. "Well, Harry, I'd check to see if you still have all your . . . *parts,*" he said, as Reyan left the dorm.

Everyone watched as I examined my entire body. "He didn't seem to have done anything to me." I said with relief.

"Well, mate, I'd just be worried that he did something to shorten your life," Ron announced, before rolling over in his bed and flicking off the light.

I sat up straight in my bed, worried, while everyone else slept soundly.

DRACO

I awoke in the hospital wing that morning and Madame Pomfrey sent me back to class, a strange look on her face. I gave her my normal smirk, and walked merrily on my way, ignoring everything that Gregory said to me, and making sure that I wasn't smiling.

Everyone seemed a little tense, and when I walked into the Great Hall, and when Harry saw me, something seemed to brighten in his eyes. It's easy to see the affect I'm having on him. It's easy to see how much he likes me.

I sat down and once I did Harry and Ron and everyone else began whispering. If I hadn't been used to this already , I would have been really nervous about what they were saying.

After a moment, Harry stood up and walked over to me, grabbed my arm, and drug me into a bathroom where he exploded. "Just what are you trying to pull, Malfoy?! Having people stalk me - having people put spells on me - making me question everything - and coming into the Great Hall with a LIGHTNING BOLT SCAR on your forehead when you *knew* my girlfriend was coming home today! In case you haven't noticed, MALFOY, that's what she is! My *girlfriend* which means you and I will never be! So get rid of that scar - and get rid of your people!"

And that would have been it. It would have been over before it started - if I hadn't of kissed him.

A/N: Don't you just love seeing my comments on the bottom of the screen? I know I do! . . . I don't have much to say except review . . . (please) and . . . I just like the A/N thing, okay???


	11. Say Hello, Kara!

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Say Hello, Kara

KARA

I walked into the Great Hall when I got back from vacation, and it got really quiet. I looked around, to see who they were staring at, and realized it was me. "Um . . . hi?" I said, unnerved, walking over to Hermione to take a seat.

They still didn't say anything so I looked at Seamus and laughed, slightly, trying not to blush. "Um . . . Where is Harry? I thought he'd be here to welcome me when I came back from vacation . . ."

Seamus blushed now, as if he knew a secret that I didn't. "Well . . . he . . . he's not here. As you can see by the fact that his seat is empty. I'm - um - I didn't see him kissing Malfoy earlier - you know - he's going out with you - and nothing's happening with Malfoy. At *all* . . . you know?"

I coughed. "Right . . . So, where are he and Malfoy making out at?"

Seamus fell over.

HARRY

Okay. So . . . where do I begin? . . .

I think Kara hates my guts. I dunno what gave me that impression, exactly . . . Maybe it was when she walked in on Malfoy and me in our snogging session and had a horrified look in her eyes. Or when she slugged Malfoy so hard she knocked him out. Or maybe it was when she burst into tears and threatened to kill me . . . Either way, she didn't seem too happy about it.

And when Draco came to, he seemed shocked. I think that he hadn't expected me to want to be with him. And I'm really not sure if that's what *I* want anymore.

DRACO

I'm going to *kill* Kara. She's trying to take away the one thing that I love more than Pudding. The one thing that gives me condolence anymore. . . And then I think to myself: Wait a minute. *I* stole Harry from *her*. Then things get a little awkward for me. Yes, I made Harry cheat on his girlfriend, and no, I wasn't feeling guilty about it. Actually . . . the only thing I felt at that point was the bump that had formed on my head from her blow to my face. And the lightning bolt scar that had began prickling through the night as I tried to sleep.

Makes me wonder . . . Is this what it feels like to be Harry Potter?

I'd get rid of the scar, if there was a way to do it. I've searched through millions of books, but I haven't seemed to find the cure for it yet . . .

And Ronald Weasly is running on my last nerve. 

RON

Hermione came back today! It felt odd, seeing her again, knowing she wasn't just my best friend. She was my mental friend. She's crazy. She's special . . . It's almost kind of attractive . . . In an affable way, of course.

When she walked into the Great Hall that morning she calmly walked over to where Harry and I where sitting, and Harry instantly covered his neck, shaken with the thought that she might try to kill him. However, she did nothing of the sort. Just sat down beside me and gave me a smile. Back to the Hermione I had known since I first started school. A snot. But at least not a crazy one.

"Hullo, Hermione," I said after a brief pause. She looked at me, with a vacant expression in her eyes, and then they lit up suddenly.

"Oh my, Harry! I was going to tell you! Draco *likes* you! I found out in the Hospital Wing! He wanted me to cast a spell on you to see if it was him you truly liked! That's why he has the scar on his forehead! That's why he's been acting so strange!"

Harry looked at her a moment, his eyes large, but then they went back to their normal state and he looked back down at his food, as if seeing past it. As if something bothered him.

Hermione's smile faltered. "Well . . . don't you like him, Harry?"

"Like Draco? Harry and Draco? Ha! That's funny!" maybe I said this a little too loudly, because suddenly the entire room was quiet, and I was the only one laughing at the joke. "Well . . ." I said, feeling my face grow hot. "It *was* funny."

Harry gave me an evil glared and pushed his try away. "I dunno, Hermione. I thought that he hated my guts . . . and now he's got that scar and I have *no* idea what people are thinking. Also - this had added onto the fact that Draco's a *boy*. A *boy* for heaven's sake! . . . Now *every body's* involved in my love life, and if we go out, everybody will know, and if we break up, everybody's gonna know. And if we-"

"I *get* it, Harry," Hermione snapped at him. I sighed deeply, and once again the attention was averted back to me.

"Um . . . the fact *is* - is . . . I didn't get enough sleep last night." a lot of people began talking again and some 'oh's' were muttered. They were blaming my clueless ness on my lack of sleep. And, frankly, I would rather much know what was going on. "I want to know what's going on." I demanded, banging my fist on the table.

There was another silence, and Seamus spoke, "Ron, I'm going to say this once, and only once. After that - forget it. Harry has tried talking to you, Reyan has tried talking to you, Hermione has tried talking to you, and _everyone _has given hints. But you just don't get it. Draco, and Harry are lovers. Yes, that's right. Lovers . . . And, yes, you can go throw up now."

I shot him a look of thanks and ran out, holding my stomach tightly.

HARRY  


Sad, actually. Ron finding out and all. I was going to turn it into a game, too. See how often I could change what was really going on. He has a funny look on his face when he's confused, I'll say that much. It's almost as delightful as it is wehn he's embarrassed . . But . . . *sigh* Ron is also beginning to annoy me. He's like Reyan was. Always following me around. I have to use a stall when I go to the bathroom. A *stall*! So he won't be right there.

Of course, he's probably peeking under the next stall, or through a crack. I wouldn't hold it past him. He's really going to kill me.

Today, Hermione and me were going to go for a walk around the lake. She says me and her should go back to how it was before she tried to kill me, and I agreed. I actually do miss her I-don't-want-to-choke-you-to-death-while-your-sleeping ways. It was *supposed* to be just me and her. But, Ron decided to follow behind us, wearing all camouflage . . stepping on things . . . It was bad enough it was snowing and he didn't fit in with the scenery.

"Ignore him," Hermione murmured, after looking back to see him walking towards us, trying to make as little noise as possible as he trudged through the snow.

I couldn't resist turning around to look at him. I did, and when he saw me watching, he stood very still. As if I couldn't see him. "Gee," I said, giving him the satisfaction of winning. "I don't see anyone behind us. Not even Ron."

Hermione grinned. "So . . . Harry . . . . care to tell me anything about what's going on between you and Malfoy?"

I took a deep breath and shrugged. "Well . . . how is Kara taking it?"

"You want the truth?"

"Can I handle it?"

"Probably not."

"Okay. Tell me."

She looked at her hem on her jacket for a moment before speaking again. "She's not taking it. She mopes around all day, and doesn't eat. She's missed school for the longest time and she's talking about committing suicide."

"Oh God! . . . Really?"

She studied my face for a long time and burst into a fit of giggles. "She's *fine* Harry, she's just fine! You can date Malfoy and not have to worry about what Kara's feeling, okay? She's over the shock of breaking up. I think she was over it before she even got into it."

I grinned, and heard Ron trip over and groan loudly. "Thanks. That's the best advice I've heard in a long time."

"I try."

HERMIONE

Me an Kara stood inside the building, looking down at Draco, who was meeting Harry in front of the castle in about five minutes. It was their first date, you see, and no way could we miss it. I mean, this is what I had been waiting for. I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to see them actually lock lips.

Draco paced around the front, bringing his hand to his hair, and making sure it was glued to his skull, and trying to find out which pose he liked best. We watched as he walked toward a frozen puddle, at his reflection. "Hello, Harry, you look nice . . . No. . . ." he leaned casually back. "Great outfit Harry, really brings out your eyes . . . Good God no . . . I'm a Malfoy for crists sake." he gave an evil glare. "It's about *time* you got here, Potter. I've been waiting all this time in the blistering cold." Me and Kara exchanged glances. "Yeah. That's the best thus far."

We gulped, and saw Harry running down the halls muttering, "I'm late - *please* let him still be there!"

Kara giggled. "Was he this way with me too?"

"At first." I said, although he had never, ever been like that except with Malfoy.

"Ugh." she stated, before we returned our attention to what was going on outside. Harry ran a hair through his hair really quickly and then strutted over to Malfoy, rather nervously. We watched Malfoy's glare and prepared for the worst. "Sorry I'm late." Harry said, coughing.

Draco just nodded.

"Shall we go then?" Draco nodded again, his lips closed tightly together.

When they left, me and Kara followed after, our skills of spying were so much more advanced that Ron's, because they never turned around to look once.

DRACO

I have decided I'm not going to say anything to him tonight. I'm not even going to look at him. Because I know once I do, I'm going to yell at him for being so late that he made me believe I was being stood up. So . . . I hope he feels bad and knows never to mess with a Malfoy.

KARA

The went inside the Three Broomsticks, and me and Hermione followed, running to a table directly behind them, so we could see them except they couldn't see us. "So," Harry began, trying to break the silence. "I don't know much about you, Draco. I mean - nothing about your home life . . . Why don't you tell me?"

Draco shook his head quickly, as if he was ashamed.

"Well, it can't be worse than mine . . . But if you want . . . I'll tell you about me?" Draco half nodded. "Okay . . . I live with my aunt, uncle, and cousin, Dudley. He's two pounds short of being a horse. I live in the smallest room in the house, get the shortest supply of food, and get bullied around. I hate it there. I hate going back . . . being here - this is like - the best day of my life." Hermione snorted, and we quickly covered up our face with menus when Harry turned around to look at who was laughing.

"And . . . yeah." his face was bright red. I could tell she had discouraged him. "You know . . ." I whispered after a moment of studying them. "They'd make the cutest babies." Hermione stared at me a long time, and then agreed.

"They really would . . ."

Harry was still talking, so far, Draco hadn't said a word.

HARRY

It was a very bad date. The people in the booth behind us kept laughing at anything I said, and Draco never said a word . . . At least . . . Not until I dropped him off, anyway. "Well, Draco . . . I know tonight wasn't a very good night and whatever . . . but . . ."

Then, he opened his mouth, his words coming out quickly. "Harry - I love you almost as much as pudding. I want to cut off every strand of your hair and glue it to my own head so people think that we are one. I want to take a hot glue gun and glue you to my side so we're never apart. For you I'd shave my entire body with a dull rusty razor blade and take a bath in vinegar. You are the hole in my doughnut. You are the candy on Halloween. And - you are those little toys you find buried in the cracker jack boxes!" he burst into emotional tears and ran crying inside his room, slamming the door behind him.

A/N: I wanted to thank you reviewers!! I love you all! You are Malfoy's speech to Harry - to me!! Except, without the emotional tears at the end!!


	12. If I Only Had A Brain

CHAPTER TWELVE: If I Only Had A Brain

HARRY

Things with Draco . . . What do I say? He said he loved me, and since then I've avoided him. It's not that I don't want him anymore. And it's not that I don't love him back. And it's not that I can't say it, because I can, saying those words are easy to me. . . It's just that - I'm totally dreading it.

My "I love you" will be nothing compared to his, and so I have to think of something to beat his long speech. Many many ways to say it, and to keep a smile on.

Draco would make a great actor, and I think he knows it, and is proud of it too. 

He very fond of roses. He put one on my pillow one night, and left me a cute little poem:

__

Yellow it a colour.

Purple is too.

Why would I ever

eat your shoes? 

And so, I don't think he actually hurt Fredrick and Anita. In fact, I think they are in perfect health. And I've finally realized that they were only holding me back. From shoes that actually *fit* me. From shoes who matched my outfits. And now that Rachael and Carol are around, Fred and Any are over with. . . At least, I hope so . . .

*fluttery music plays*

I can remember my old days with them . . . Running through those fields . . . getting splattered with mud that flew into my open mouth . . . all those hours I spent in the muggle hospital as they tried to revive my lungs . . .

Ah, good, good times.

KARA

Hermione and I sat on my dorm bed, looking through photo albums - millions of moving pictures of my vacation days, and the day I got my hair combed for three hours at that secret spa . .. And that was when I came across a picture of Harry and I, holding hands and walking down the corridor - only a year before today's date. 

And I believe *that* was when I got the most cruel, most wonderful idea in the history of ideas. "Hermione, I think I'm going to sabotage Harry and Draco's relationship."

She stared as if I were crazy, and then backed away. "You know, Kara - when I started choking people - I got sent away . . . I still have their number if you're feeling kind of crazy-"

"And just how do you suppose being crazy feels?" I demanded.

"*I* certainly don't know! *I'M* not crazy!" and as soon as she said it, she panted with rage. "How could you want to destroy something as wonderful -- so beautiful as their relationship?! You would have the whole school against you - and I would *not* take your side!"

"But think of it my way, Hermione! I was cheated on by him! He didn't love me at all! I *deserve* revenge! And - their relationship, has *anybody* noticed it's homosexual? If Draco's parents found out they would kill him and you certainly can't want him to *die* am I right?" she froze, probably thinking I didn't have a point. But, I did, and I was serious. 

"But that is what *makes* it perfect! It being wrong! It's lets people know you're okay to be yourself . . . even if you are crazy . . . even if your obsession is really, really *obsessive* . . . even if you do run around choking people - *friends* care . . ." she got a look in her eyes, and suddenly, her face lit up, and heavenly music played.

We looked around for the source of it. "HEY," Hermione cried. "I am TRYING to make a POINT here and it would be just great if you cut of that pathetic music and the BLINDING light shinning in my eye!"

"Sorry, ma'am!" this guy cried, shutting off his radio and grabbing his light. "I'll be going now . .. you just pretend that I was never here . . ." he ran straight into a dresser and knocked it over. "Oops! I'll fix it - I'll get it . . ." and then he ran, leaving his light laying on the floor.

"WHAT KIND OF MORON CARRIES A LIGHT AND UGLY MUSIC AROUND?! WERE YOU BORN WITHOUT TASTE??!" Hermione cried, angrily, before suddenly changing to the person she normally was. "ANYway . . where was I? . . . Oh, right, Harry and Draco . . . Look, do not even *think* about it, Kara . . . That's really extreme. And I know. I mean, I went around *choking* people." and she left the room, screaming about telling Ron everything.

"They'll be over before you can say Muggle Pudding Packs." I vowed.

"Muggle Pudding Packs!" that guy cried, announcing his return. I gave him a glare, and he gulped. "Well - maybe you should have said something *realistic*. I mean - I was only trying to right your wrong . . . And it was really good, you know, but you sound to happy . . . you've gotta get mean!"

"Oh, but I sound way too *mean* when I'm mean!"

"Well *duh*, that's the *point*!"

"You're right . . . thanks strange man!" I cried, when he went to leave.

"And remember! Make it *realistic*!" he added, before leaving . . . and coming back. "Forgot my light . . ."

I cackled. "They'll be over before you can memorize the dictionary!"

REYAN

My obsession over Draco is becoming way to fucking crazy. I've memorized his daily routine, and I know, that right now, at 17:35 he would be in the bathroom, doing his hair. At exactly 18:00, he will be done with his hair, and will go to write in his "secret diary" thing, and he'll be in bed before 20:20.

He knows I want to shag him, and he's been acting really strange around me since. No more showered together. Which is fucking crazy because I smell just as much as *he* smells when the day is over with, and *I* would like to take a shower first!

Since he began dating Potter, it's been *really* hard to concentrate on anything but it. He invades my once happy dreams of him running to my arms - to him running to *Harry's* arms. And it really fucking sucks, because years ago I had *my* chance with Draco, and years ago I blew it.

I knew that all of Harry's friends were totally against me, so it freaked me out to suddenly notice that Kara - Snape's cousin's sister's husband's daughter's niece. Or something like that. And so her talking to me is absolutely crazy. "You're Reyan Rey, am I right?" she demanded, her hands on her hips.

"Um . . . *Am* I?" figured a little reverse psychology would get rid of her.

"Do you like seeing Draco and Harry together?"

"I dunno . . . *do* I?"

"Don't you wish you could take the one who rightfully belongs to you, and hit them repeatedly until they are back in love with the person they *should* be with?" she was furious now . . . so I played it cool.

"Don't I?"

Her body, which I always thought was weak and boring, picked me up and threw me against the wall, my head cracking open. "Listen to me . . . *REYAN* . . . *You* are the *only* one in this school who wants Harry and Draco to end as much as I do. So, I have consisted a plan - a plan to get them off of each other, and back on us. Because I do *NOT* want mental images of them shagging placed in my head, do *you*?"

And so, I let her little speech thing sink it. No . . . I *didn't* want them together . . . But I didn't want to be the reason they fell *apart, either . . . But, she reassured me. "What are the *odds* that they will break up? Psh, they'll be together forever, and you know it! Now, start acting like a Slytherin, you good-for-nothing coward!"

"Ok," I said, gulping. "I'll go along with your . . . *plan* thing . . . But what's in it for *me*?"

"You'll get your beloved Draco back."

And that would be enough.

A/N: *throws a welcome back party for herself* I am KICKIN' it now!! . . . I know it was short and whatever, and duller than usual . . . but hey, it's hard to write happy when your sad . . . Thanks for all you wonderful reviewers that I love! You know I would like to marry ALL of you, but I think it's impossible . . . therefore, we can have free-sex parties instead!


	13. And They Lived

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: And They Lived Happily Ever - Well . . . They Lived

A/N: Sorry for the long awaited update! I truly am! It's just that I'm . . . I've been busy! What with all those free-sex parties and such . . . I wrote a line in here that is stolen from the Fairly Odd Parents, if you can find it, you get to chose whether Draco wears leather or not, and if he does what he does IN the leather, and if he doesn't - a nice alternative . . . So, that's good . . . right?

Oh, also - some people have been asking how to pronounce Reyan and it's Ree-in . . . Just so ya know . . .

Dedication: Becky007, whose name kept me thinking for a long time . . . lol . . .

KARA

Reyan and I stood outside the Slytherin showers, me wearing a bathing suit, and him in a huge pink tutu. The blush on his cheeks could have glowed in the dark. He cleared his throat. "Okay . . . Remind me again Kara . . . how this is going to work? How our plans have anything to do with me wearing your ballet suit?"

I sighed. "For the LAST time, Reyan, this has nothing to do with the plan. I just wanted to see how you looked . . . Hold on." I added more tissue paper into the bra compartment, and put more lipstick on his lips. He had a problem with licking it off. "There. You look adorable."

He whined. "ButKara I don't want to wear this thing!"

"Look, Reyan-" and that was when Draco walked out of the door, his body was moist, and around his waist was a loose white towel. Steam followed him out of the showers. He through back his head, and swung his wet hair. I let out a small 'eep' at seeing him like that, and then hid behind the flustered Reyan.

"Um . . ." Draco looked at Reyan, and then did a double take. "Reyan??"

"No. Um . . . I'm my - - I mean his twin sister . . . Rayen." he let out two nervous giggles. "Um . . ." Reyan was at a loss for words.

"Oh." and Draco looked Reyan over once, twice, three, four . . . ten . . . eighteen times - and I though I saw that familiar 'Oh,-you-know-I'm-going-to-throw-you-on-the-ground-and-have-my-way-with-you-later-so-there's-no-sense-in-denying-that-you-want-me. And-you-obviously-do-or-else-I-wouldn't-be-giving-you-this-look' look that he normally has. "Are you new here?" and then, with a horrid expression, his look changed. It read something along the lines of 'I'm with Harry now, so why do I need you?'

"Um . . ." he grinned. "Yes . . . That's right . . . I'm . . . new here . . ." he cackled.

"Well . . . Then maybe I'll show you around Hogwarts sometime . . . By the way . . . You don't look anything like your ugly twin brother . . . Ta!" and he left.

When I got to Reyan, he looked as if he would cry. "Oh . . . At least he didn't call you ugly . . ."

He glared at me. "Oh really?! Because he said _you're twin brother_-"

"But - you don't have a twin brother."

He paused a moment. "You're right! . . . . Since he finds me desirable . . . Should I -" he winked "Seduce him, or something?"

"No. That's Hermione's job." winks at author

Author winks back and gets hit in the head with a flying potato

"Well . . Then what do I do?"

"I was thinking along the lines of a striptease."

His eyes widened. "But . . . then he'd know I was a guy . . ."

I gasped, and backed away slowly. "You're a dude?! WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO??" And I was gone.

Freakin' transvestites.

REYAN Author coughs EXCUSE ME - - _RAYEN_

I decided to wax my face and legs, thinking that he'd think I was more beautiful if I looked more girly. It took me awhile, because I wasn't sure how to use the stuff. "Hey, Briteny?"

"Yeah, Reyan?"

"It's _Rayen_!"

"Oh . . . sorry Rayen . . ."

"How do I wax?"

She giggled. I'd have to learn to giggle too. "How about I do it for you?"

"Sure."

And I sat back, relaxing, and she poured some mild wax on my legs and - "OWMYFUCKINGGODWHATISWRONGWITHYOUPEOPLE?!!" I jerked my legs away. "I said wax them, not try to murder me!"

She hid the waxing material behind her back. "This is what us girls go through, Reyan! And if you wanna be a girl, then you're gonna have to learn to live with it!"

"I'd rather die!" I screamed, and left the room, running head-first into non other than Draco the-hot-guy Malfoy. "Draco!" I swooned, and gripped his arm, batting my lashes.

"Rayen? Hi."

"How're you?"

". . . It's only been about fifteen seconds since we last saw each other . . . What could I have been doing that long time period?"

"Jerking-"

"O kay, lets change the subject . . ." his cheeks fumed. "I've . . . gotta go . . . To my common room so I can . . . shower . . ."

"But you just got out of the shower!"

"Well now I'm going back in . . ."

"Oh. Okay. Bye."

He waved and ran up the stairs, gaining three each step.

I put on my helpless girl routine, by dropping my eyeliner, and claiming I couldn't pick it up because my skirt was too short. Who did I get to come over, but two guys I had never met before. "Here, lemme get that for you . . ."

"Oh. Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without my makeup!"

They both giggled. "Now . . ." I thought. "If only I can get one of these idiots to show me to Draco's common room . . ."

A hand waved in front of my face. "Um, hello, we can hear you -"

"But we'd love to be one of those idiots who showed you to Draco's common room! Follow us!"

HARRY

Draco and I met in the library the next day, him looking completely flustered, and looking behind him every three seconds. "Harry! How doth thou?" Pansy had warned me he was in a Shakespearian mood.

"I'm fine . . . Why do you look so . . . Upset?"

"Well, there . . . doth . . . a crazed woman who is following thou around thee castle . . . thou . . ."

"Ah." said I, encouraging him, even though I inwardly cringed at his attempt to be sexy.

"Thou doth seemed not very turned on . . ." he hmphed, and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting. A very sexy look for him.

"Well . . . Now I am . . ."

He beamed at me, and then his face paled. "There she is!" he shrunk in his chair.

"Who?"

"See the girl in the doorway down yonder?"

I looked, and held back a laugh. Reyan. In a dress. With make-up. And waxed legs? Oh, God. "What, you mean Reyan?"

He froze. "It's Reyan?"

"Well . . . Yeah . . . Who'd you think it was? His twin sister or something?" I laughed for a long time.

DRACO

I had a feeling that now would not be the time to tell him that I did believe that.

HARRY

I had a feeling that Draco was about to tell me that he actually did believe that.

DRACO

Oh shut up, you perfect boy you!

HARRY!

AHH! I knew you were obsessed with me - but I didn't know you could read my mind!

DRACO

I can? . . . Oooh . . . Anything kinky involving me?

HARRY

Wouldn't you like to know . . .

AUTHOR

Well, I don't really have anything to say . . . I just wanted to mention that the only reason these two are having a conversation right now is because I'm making them.

HARRY & DRACO

SHUT UP!!

HARRY

Reyan looked suspiciously like a vulture, waiting to swoop down and steal Draco away from me. That's my biggest fear right now. That I might lose Draco to someone . . . I don't want that to happen. I like him too much . . . Kinda even love him, and it's always torture to see someone stalking him around, or see him looking at a girl or a guy in another way. I shouldn't be jealous, I know, look what all he did to win my attention . . . But when you have a boyfriend as sexy as the one sitting here, you learn to get suspicious. And if Reyan comes any closer to Draco I swear I'll punch out his brains.

REYAN

Darn that Harry Potter! I took one step towards Draco and he punched out my brains! I swear, for the one who's the "good guy" so often, he sure does do a good job of beating up the innocent . . .

I have the strangest urge to sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb," and play a violin. Except, I don't own a violin, and I don't like violins, and I can't play violins, so . . . Maybe I'd just image Harry's head cut off and feeding his brains to Draco.

JASON

Hi. I'm Johnny ( not Jason). I'm not really a character in this story, but I just wanted to share something with you . . . My whole life, I had to live with three brains. And one tragic day, Another brain grew. And, of course, I had a big head. People made fun of my big head . . . because I had four brains.

After awhile, I grew to accept my four brains. And I realized, I was perfectly normal on the insides

However, when I turned six, I grew another brain.

After awhile, my head got heavy, and I could no longer support my body . . . because of the many brains.

I'm here for one reason only. And that reason is this: Do you really want a child like me? A child with so many brains that it cannot support it's head? If not, then maybe you should call this number: 1-800-BAD-BRAIN. So you see, for as little as twenty-six payments of $999.99, you could help someone like me reduce their heads, and be able to walk again, and accepted into society . . .

Call now.

You also will receive a free left shoe, a whoopie cushion, two tangerines, an empty bottle of ranch dressing, a metal hanger, and a pencil with I HELPED A CHILD WITH FOUR BRAINS, AND SO CAN YOU IF YOU CALL THE NUMBER LOCATED ACROSS THIS PENCIL. OR, YOU COULD EMAIL THEM AT ME3MEMEME.ME, with your order.

Good hunting.

A/N: As you can see . . . I was bored. Do not call those numbers, or email that place. You're only setting yourself up for disappointments. cries THEY DIDN'T SEND MY SHOE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REAL!!

And I apologize for the terrible . . . I'm aware at the lack of good writing through out this chapter. But you see where I'm coming from: terrible cheesiness? I'm thinking about ending this story and deleting it, or something . . .

And, even if you didn't enjoy it . . . I hoped that I made at least one of you laugh . . .

Thanks to: (the thanks start from newest to oldest, since chapter nine . . . sweatdrops that's a load of people . . .) Oh, and to those of you who reviewed more than one chapter THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! But it'll get confusing to write two thanks in one sentence . . . I love you guys more. passes you Monopoly money when no ones looking

_Silver Salamander:_ I just love to read that people say that they laugh . . . lol. I truly have no life . . .

_henriette:_ Thank you!

_RabbidChicken:_ Here is this chapter, I apologize for the wait.

_lookatmego89-33:_ Thanks for your review!

_TheSecretCharacter:_ I was about to update Demented Stones, actually. You are a mean threatening person! Hurray for mean people! fakes an evil glare trips on a lady bug

_Painty Pants_: Thanks for your review, and I defiantly will. Or . . . I'll _try _to. Lol.

_Wuggles2Draco:_ Dude, of course I'll review you. Because I love you and want to eat your fingers. Er - no. Ignore that line!

_YaoiLoverForLife:_ I'll be sure and try to make you happy. seductive smile

_RiverWhiteDragon_: You've been reviewing for awhile on this story too, haven't you? E gads, man. I'm glad you seem to enjoy this story, though. It makes me want to write more on it . . . And I apologize deeply for this chapter.

_driven to insanity:_ Kara won't destroy them . . . At least I don't think she will . . . suspenseful music plays Mwuahahahaha!

_ilovebenji:_ Thanks for your review!

_Becky007:_ Everything is fine now. I've been going to ask you for awhile . . . What's with the 007? Are you a James Bond fan? No! Never mind - don't answer that. I'm assuming you got it from . . . 2007 is the year you . . . graduate high school? . . . If I'm right, you must pay me $999.99, lol..

_Violet Rose1_: Ah, one of my most . . . most . . . gosh, what's the word . . ? I don't know. But you've been reviewing me for so long! I love you! Thanks so much for sticking to the story!

_Saotoshi:_ You reviewed a LOT! Gods. I love you. gets seductive Marry me?

_Trafalger:_ I'm glad it's the hole in your doughnut. I mean, without the hole the doughnut wouldn't be so great . . . it would just be dough. Thanks for your review!

_Kid Majere:_ Well, I continued writing. For you. But don't tell anybody else. I just can't deal with anymore angry mobs!

_Lighthearted69:_ I haven't seen you in awhile. I miss you. Were did you go, my little goldfishy? How much do I need to pay you to get you back?? softly sobs

_Thundergirl:_ That was completely flattering. Thank you!

_Hayley:_ Lol. Thanks! :)

_Goddess Moondragon:_ Thanks for your review!

_Elly Malfoy:_ Actually, I found that line on the internet somewhere but . . . programs you into believing it's my line

_Zarrie:_ You're easily amused? Then that makes two of us.

_Blue Dream1:_ You're probably the first person to kind of sort of like Reyan. You deserve a back rub. grins Thanks for the review!

_MYAVS33:_ Lol, thanks for your review!

_Samwise the Brave3:_ Wow. That made me think. What in the hades does M T H mean??

_Shelli:_ Oh, lol, you woke up your family? Well, it's better then murdering them. I hope to hear from you again next chapter!

_pixyfairy120:_ It's okay that you decided to review on the pudding chapter. I mean, you haven't seen the pudding in awhile. It's completely understandable. .

_Renny:_ Thanks for your review!

huge breath I'm done. Yay me!!


	14. Everywhere At Once

****

Chapter Fourteen: Everywhere At Once

__

Dedication: Light-hearted69; where have you gone????

HARRY

Draco watched, amused, as Reyan fell to the floor, holding his nose. "Wow, Potter. That was pretty good."

"Yeah, I know. I've been practicing on my pillow."

A silence followed. "I was talking about the punch."

My face fumed. "_Ohhhh._" My face was so hot my glasses were starting to steam up. "Well, you know what they say... the good... die ...young..."

Draco nodded. "They _do _say that."

A lengthy silence followed. "You and me should really go out again."

He blinked furiously. "On a date?"

"No. Outside."

"It's too cold outside so I'd rather just-"

"I MEANT ON A DATE! God, I was joking...."

Draco 'humphed'. "Okay, fine. But since _you _asked _me_... I get to pick where we go, and you have to pay."

"That isn't fair... If I'm paying, then I should get to chose."

"That isn't fair! You'll chose a sea-food place, and I'm allergic to sea-food."

I rolled my eyes. "You've never even _had _sea-food before."

"BECAUSE I'D _DIE _IF I ATE IT, HARRY!" he cried. "You're slow today."

"What? Ex_cuse _me? _I'm _slow? Who thought when I said 'go out' I meant go outside??"

"That was a reasonable mistake! Anyone could make it."

"If their name is Draco Malfoy and they have turned into a squib because they ate too much muggle food to hold into their pureblood system... then yes! They could make that mistake."

A silence passed between us. Draco grew teary-eyed. "Are we having our first fight, Harry?"

"No. This is more like our-"

"I meant since we started a relationship."

"Oh..." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well, then... yes. I guess it _is _our first fight... Please don't cry. It'll never happen again."

"Harry... what if I'm pregnant?"

I sighed, loudly. "You are _not _pregnant."

"But how would you _know_?"

"BECAUSE, Draco! Just because! YOU ARE A GUY! GUYS DO NOT GET PREGNANT! I swear, you've gone absolutely in_sane_! I can't deal with this anymore. I'm going to my room." I grabbed my books and left him there, breathing a sigh of relief once I'd entered the hallway.

"Hey, Harry." a small voice said, and I turned around to see Kara rushing up to me. "Can I walk you to class?"

"...Sure..."

"You look depressed. Everything alright with you and the misses?" she giggled at her joke.

"Yes. Everything's normal."

She looked skeptical.

"Okay, _fine_! I'll tell you." I grabbed her arm, and forced her to stop. "Draco is a great guy. I think... maybe... that I... you know - feel about him. Like _that._ You know? But he's going insane. I know the symptoms. Hermione went crazy not too long ago, remember? So... what do I do? Do I send him away?"

Kara's eye filled with concern. "Harry... I didn't want to tell you this but... Draco is planning on killing you."

"What? Ugh, he is not-"

"He _is._" she insisted. "This whole dating you thing has been a total joke. He wants you erased, and he thought the only way he could do it would be to... you know... be with you. Personally I'd say kill _him..._but, since you can't... You need to break up with him, Harry. This is serious. It's out of my control."

I nodded slowly, heartbroken. "But... he told me he loved me..."

"It was all just a lie."

I nodded, and she hugged me. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I didn't want to be the one to deliver bad news..."

"It's okay." I said, quietly. "I'm fine. It's not like I - you know - had feelings for him, right? I'll be fine."

She nodded. "Well, I need to go over to Hagrid's. It's really important." she dropped her pencil as she walked away, so I picked it up and followed her, getting close enough to hear "Mwauhaha- Harry? What is it?"

"You dropped this..."

She took it from me. "Oh... thanks...."

"You're welcome." I left in enough time to hear the last "ha!" and then went to my bed, to rest my head and take a shower.

However, along the way stood a giant panda. He was too big for me to pass by, so I had to politely ask him to shoo.

"Everyone's a critic." he snapped, before disappearing into orange snow.

DRACO.

Ron walked down the hallways by himself, staring at the carpet as he passed by.

I felt my conscious mind slowly devouring my insides before it eventually annoyed me. "Hey, wait up." I called out, before realizing I'd said anything.

He turned.

_Man. Next time I need to keep my mouth closed... Hmm... maybe he won't notice that it was me._

"What do you want, Draco?"

"Erg...do... you..." _e-gads. Think of something! _"like eggs?"

A silence followed. "...Sure... Why not?.. Well, goodbye-"

"Wait!"

He did.

_What the...? Why am I still talking to him?_ "Uhm...how are you?"

_And...gee...is that a cactus? Where the hell did _THAT _come from?_

"...Fine..."

"You know... you and I aren't as close as we once were..."

"Uh-...huh..."

"So, Ron... how does this make you feel?"

"I dunno. Kind of hollow inside. Lonely. You know how it is..."

HERMIONE. (We haven't seen much from her since chapter eleven. .)

Kara and Reyan sat outside of the library, so caught up in their conversation, they didn't even hear me come up.

"No, Reyan! It's not going to work that way! Harry is obviously going to continue to punch you anytime you go near Draco, so you're just going to have to talk to him in your dorms. Harry can't follow you forever."

"Uh, actually, Kara..." Reyan sighed. "I don't like this."

"...Don't like what?"

"This deceit. Going behind Harry and Draco's back. All of it... the kids in school are right. Harry and Draco are perfect for each other."

"But...but you... you _love _Draco!"

"I did." he admitted. "And then I really got to know him and... that boy is insane. I'm kind of glad that he's dating Harry. It means nobody else has to put up with him."

"So that's it, then? You're just going to leave me here to do this by myself?"

"Uh...yeah, actually."

"You know what, Reyan? You are a piece of dirt!" she called, as he left her by herself. "And you call yourself a Slytherin!"

I used that time to my advantage and took a seat beside her. "Hey, Kara."

"..Hullo, Hermione."

"You and Reyan looked a "

"Ugh. He's a total jerk."

"_Really_?! I was under the impression that - you know - you liked him."

"EW! REYAN? ME LIKING REYAN?? WHAT THE- okay, yeah, I kinda do." I blinked a few times in surprise. "I dunno, though. You think he likes me?"

"Well...I always thought Reyan was gay, but... you know... He's Reyan. He doesn't really have any sexuality... Er... yeah, actually. I think he does like you. You and him should totally hook up."

"I need to go and talk to him...Thanks for your advice, Mione."

"...You're welcome."

_Well..._I thought, as she left. _That was weird..._

HARRY

After me and Draco's "fight," I felt bad, and went to go and find him.

Sure, he can be crazy, but he's still a good person...Kind of hard to understand at times... a little on the weird side but... Draco is Draco. Nobody really understands him.

"And, that was about the time that my brother left for Romania... It was an empty time in my life..." faintly, I could make out Ron's voice. _That's a little odd..._ I thought, after a moments silence. _Who's he talking to?_

I followed his voice to the end of the hallway, and peaked through the cracked door.

He was laying on a couch, and on the chair opposite him sat Draco, with a notepad and glasses.

The scene was way too funny to be weird.

_I'm dating a lunatic. _I thought, mildly, before heading back to my common room.

-

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Authors Note

This chapter got a _little _more serious, I guess. Beats me. I'm never fully satisfied with my work, but I think this one is moving in the direction that I want it to. Because this will be over shortly (and by shortly I mean I have no eff-ing idea of any time) I'm trying to get this to fit into the ending...not that it hasn't since the first chapter, but it'll all make sense in the end. I promise.

I'm sorry about the delay, but I've been on a... vacation, I guess, is the only way to describe it.

Literally. I had a nervous breakdown, and lost my head, but it's back now, although I'm beginning to doubt if I ever had one to begin with...

Thank you to all of my reviewers! I will thank you each separately on the last chapter, since I have limited time anymore glares at school OH, AND DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THE NEW GREEN DAY CD YET?!?!?!


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